Happy birthday to me...

Another birthday has come and gone. I advanced another year this past Wednesday.

The day didn't go as planned. It wasn't the worst one I've ever had, but it's in the Top 5.

As usual, I do pause during the day to think about where I have been (in my life) and where I am headed.

I'm not happy with my life right now. It's messed up and I can't think of one single thing that is the way it should be.

What I do know, however, is that I can make the changes. I just have to get it together. I'm not sure what "it" is, but it can get better. I'm certain of "it."

An Emergency on Your Part....

I feel guilty.

A family member needs me to do some stuff for them today and I said "no" both times. The truth is...I could have done it. I would rather be doing the errands for them instead of what I am suppose to be doing (which is cleaning the house), but I am trying to stick to "The Plan" which is getting some things done around here, so I said "no."

It wasn't easy. And...I feel bad. But....I need to get some control over this mess in my house and it's not going to happen if I keep putting if off.

Or...if I stay on here....so I guess I better get back to it. :-0

Project 365....Should I do it again?

A few years ago I created a blog called 365 Days In Georgia. The idea was...a picture a day for a year.

Simple right?

Unfortunately, I have yet to have ever made it through a full year. My various attempts have all failed. Sometimes it was because life got in the way. Sometimes it was because I just forgot. Sometimes it was simply because it seemed like my life was so boring, there wasn't anything around me that I even wanted to record.

I saw a photo on someones blog today, however, that kind of got me wanting to try it again. It was a simple shot of a wall. The wall had meaning to the person and they wanted to get a shot of it. It made me think about my photo blog....and...well, here we are.

I didn't come up with this idea on my own, just in case you're wondering. It actually apparently started with a guy called Taylor McKnight. You can read his story on Photojojo. The idea is actually called "Project 365."

Anyway, next week is my birthday. At the moment (unless I forget) - I am contemplating starting it again. A year in my life, starting on my birthday. How exciting is that? Yeah...I know. ::::Yawn::::

But....maybe it will be fun and we'll see some cool stuff. Maybe it will make me get out from behind this desk a little more and try to see the world. The possibilities....I guess....are endless...

Valentine's Day or Rather....Bah Humbug

When I was in high school, Valentine's day was the one day of the year that showed whether you were really all "THAT" or not.

If you were....at some point during the day a bouquet of flowers would show up and you would get called to the office to pick them up.

This became so popular (and there were so many flowers coming in to the school) that the arrangements were finally just put on tables and you stopped by to get them on your way to or from lunch.

This was, of course, always a point of stress for the girls that didn't get flowers and a delight for those that did.

Thankfully, by my Junior and Senior year - I was on of the girls that DID. I think I was sent some in my Sophomore year, but from whom I don't remember and I kind of think if so --- they were NOT wanted.

Time passed and flowers arrived at my home and at work. There was usually heart-shaped candy boxes and cards. Dinner out and a night of romance.

As you may have remembered from last year, however, in recent years the romance here is dead. The Hubby quit buying candy because he said "you don't need that." Then he started waiting until the last moment to buy me flowers.

When I say "last moment" - I mean, that I would sit and wait for him in the car while he ran into Kroger and picked some up.

This year - there is no money for flowers. We'll eat out. We'll exchange cards. I'm not expecting any surprises or even hoping there will be any. I'm more like the single girl who just wants the day to be over. Sad really.

I vow it won't be like this next year. I will have romance back in my life. For now....though....all I can think to say is....

Valentine's Day? Bah.....Humbug.....

A Voice From the Past: Whitney Houston

To be honest, I hadn't really thought about Whitney Houston in quite a while.

When she lived in Atlanta there was usually some tidbit in the newspaper about her or a mention on the radio that she had been seen eating in some local restaurant or shopping at one of the malls. I recall that a couple of her episodes with Bobby Brown even made it onto our local nightly news.

As time went by though, other than noting that they were playing one of her songs on the radio (98.5 now plays what they call "80s, 90s and Now) I didn't give her much thought.

Today, they reported that she died in a hotel room in Beverly Hills. Even now as I type this - CNN is reporting that the police are still in the middle of their investigation and her body is still there. Each time CNN goes to a commercial break they play one of her songs. It is funny that just like Michael Jackson - I now realize that she was such a big part of my life.

I went out on dates to her music. I watched her on MTV. I listened to her songs on the radio as I went to work. She was a constant. She was Whitney.

They don't know what caused her death yet. "Sources" suspect it was drugs. Rumors say that she partied last night. For now we just don't know. Tomorrow night the Grammys will be on and they will pay homage to her. Even in death she will be the center of attention. With her larger-than-life personality her death being so close to the event seems like the most fitting tribute any legend could have.

RIP Whitney.

Tomorrow I am Taking the Day Off!

Okay, maybe I won't take the whole day off, but I am going to take half a day off. I need to sit quietly somewhere with my notebook and try to figure out what-the-heck-am-I-doing (?).

Yesterday, I wrote about getting my ducks lined up and I DID have a better day. Today, well - I am going in 50 directions at once again and the to-do list is not getting any shorter. I keep letting myself get pulled into things that I really need to be saying "NO" to.

The problem with saying "NO" is that it doesn't make the problem go away - it merely postpones it. A family member can't drive and needs milk. I can say "NO" - I won't go get it right now, but....it just tosses it onto the list that I have to do later or tomorrow. Then there will be other items added to that list and the list grows and grows and grows.

The Hubby says that I need to do things on MY time. He says this - right up to the point where he calls me and needs me to stop what I'm doing and look something up for him. Twenty minutes later - he has his information, but I'm further behind than I started out.

Some would say that I need to put up the sign:

AN EMERGENCY ON YOUR PART

DOES NOT CONSTITUTE AN EMERGENCY

ON MY PART....

but....that is easy to say and harder to stick to. Perhaps I need to practice this "NO."

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.....

Getting My Ducks In a Row

At the end of last year I had a lot of plans for 2012. This was going to be the year that things turned around. It was going to be the year that I got things done, increased my income and turned my life around.

So far...this has not happened.

The year started out with a family member in the hospital. Then there was a period of adjustment as Home Care entered our lives.

This week....this week, however, things had sort of returned to somewhat normal....but....now....my ducks aren't in a row.

I get up late. I go to bed late. I play games on Facebook and look for blogs to read. It takes a lot of thought about whether I want to get out of bed in the morning.

Yes, I see the signs of depression there. It does all feel hopeless at times and I really don't want to get out of bed. I told my husband that it felt like "Groundhog Day" and I'm just getting up and doing the same day over and over again.

This morning though....I do feel a little more like getting some things done. I actually feel like trying to line those ducks up. I need some order in my life and it hasn't been there in quite some time.

Will those feeling last? I'm not sure. At the moment, however, I'm off to catch me some ducks!

Sushiboofay reviews: The River

One of my favorite types of writing is television and movie reviews. If you want to see what I mean - visit my other blog for a review of ABC's new "The River."

Yes, you're all that - now go away!

I ran into a girl I from high school today. She basically looked the same except for the beginning of crows feet around the eyes, and her hair was much shorter than I remembered from back "in the day."

She didn't remember me at first, but finally said she did. I'm still not sure whether that was true or she was just being kind, but we did finally agree that we had a class or two together.

Unfortunately, she saw me on a day when my hair needs coloring and a cut. Meanwhile...her hair looked perfect and she was rail thin. Back to me wearing a t-shirt and tennis shoes while she has on designer shoes and some cute little outfit. Let's just say - I was ready to flee as soon as she walked up.

Her life, of course, has turned out perfectly. She has two children of her own, adopted two other children and is about to adopt one more. She's traveled extensively and has a husband who does business trips. When he comes home on the weekends, he texts the family as soon as the plane is on the ground.

As you may...or may not have figured out....she wasn't one of my favorite people in school. She always had that "I'm better than you" feeling going on and I always got the feeling she didn't like me. At the very least (I realized today) she didn't know I existed.

Anyway, at the end of our impromptu meeting we didn't exchange phone numbers or hug when we parted company. I'm sure next week I will be a forgotten memory and not even a small blip on her radar of consciousness. For me, however, it kind of brought home that my life isn't and hasn't been what I expected or even want it to be. I don't have it all and I never did. I will think about her for a few days and be somewhat jealous as I compare her life to mine....crazy how we sometimes do that even know we know better.

Then life will move on and I'll quit thinking about her. For now though - all I can think is "Yes, you're all that....now go away...."


Sigh.....

Friday's Grumblings

It's Friday and I don't feel like I've accomplished a thing this week.

Although I know that's not right because things did get completed, appointments were kept, and things I needed to do - I did....it still feels like goals aren't being met and I am burning the proverbial candle at both ends.

The Hubby likes to say that when this happens life is controlling you instead of you controlling it. I normally don't agree with him on much, but I do on this.

The problem is, I have no clue how to get control of my life back. I am a hamster in a wheel. I'm moving very fast, but I'm not getting anywhere at all.

Anyway, I am determined that tomorrow I will sit down for an hour and try to work some things out. I don't want to go through 2012 the same way I did 2011. I basically made a lot of revolutions on that hamster will and got off of it feeling dizzy, confused and basically right back where I started.

This year needs to be different and even though we are already in February, I want to sit down and plan out those goals that didn't happen in January and see what needs to be done. Or....I might just take one long nap. Ha!