Sushiboofay's

All I Really Want To Do Is Take a Nap on the Couch

2012-01-22T09:25:00.000-08:00

It's almost 12:30 and I have a lot of things I NEED to do today, but all I actually want to do is take a nap on the couch.

This might have something to do with the fact that the skies are gray and it looks like it is quite cold outside, but I bet if I check the thermometer - it will actually be in the high 50s or even 60s...

...Yep...my trusty iPhone app says it is actually 55 - which is a bit cool, but no complaints here.

Anyway, the biggest thing on the list today is....(ready for this?) TAKE DOWN THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

Yes, it is still up (why it is up is a long story best kept for another time, but trust me there is actually a good reason this has happened).

It is....make that...was...a live tree, so as you can imagine it is shriveled and dry. A rather sad looking thing that is way past its prime. I did finally get the lights and decorations off, but it still sits in front of the window and if any one comes to the house I'm sure they will wonder..."what the h***?"

I also have stocking hung by the chimney with care (uh...make that...dust gathering) and a row of nutcrackers spread across the mantle that seem to be waiting for Groundhog day.

All of which acquire my attention. They need to be stuffed back into their boxes and totes and stores beneath the staircase to await next Christmas. The problem is....I'm just not that motivated. I want to sit on the couch (or try that nap) and think about things for a little while or maybe read a book or....anything that doesn't require a lot of movement or work.

In the end, I will probably succumb to getting some lunch, grocery shopping and dragging the tree through the living room and out the door. My nap and lost moments in though will just have to wait.

I'm back!

2012-01-18T15:40:00.000-08:00

So...here we are in 2012 and I still have no clue what direction I want to go with this blog. I think about sharing some of the more intimate details of my life with you and I can't decide if I want to go there. Or...if you would even want to hear about it if I did.

I think about devoting this blog to all about eBay, but it doesn't feel like that kind of blog. I think about doing the "subject a day" idea and then have to remind myself that I have failed miserably on that in the past. I forget what day we are talking about what and then if I do remember, I want to write about something else instead.

Meanwhile, days go by and I put off writing because I can't think of anything to say. Which...if you knew me...you would laugh because I rarely don't have anything to say. Except here....where I'm struggling. Really, really struggling.

Whatever the case...I'm going to try to devote some time here in the next couple of weeks and hopefully decide where this is going...or if it's not going....which sometimes I think about that too.

Anyway, I'm back and if you're reading this I'm glad you're still here.

Time For a Break

2011-12-20T20:43:00.000-08:00

I've decided to put this blog on hiatus until Janaury. There are just too many things going on right now and I think I need to focus only on certain things until it slows down a bit.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and prosperous 2012!

See you next year!

It's Monday! All...Day....Long....

2011-12-12T07:56:00.000-08:00

This weekend was fairly uneventful as far as weekends go, but here it is Monday and I am SO not ready to get with it and get to work. I have three eBay packages to ship, calls to make, work to do at the new job, and a lot of other stuff that needs to be done.

Am I doing any of this though?

No.

Instead, I have been sitting here reading emails and finally decided to update this blog because I really don't want start hunting for a box - which is actually what I need to be doing right now. Said box - will hold a print that I sold to someone in Florida. They have already instructed me on how to package it (which I hate when people do that) and my enthusiasm for getting it in the mail to them in a quick and prompt manner is SO not there. Besides...they took about four days to pay me. You would think I could take as long to ship it to them....but we all know that eBay doesn't work that way.

In case you can't tell - I have have the Monday Blahs or the Bah Humbugs. Maybe both. In either case - I guess I better finish this and get moving. Now...if I can just figure out how to run an IV line from the coffee pot to my arm....I'll be all set.....

Christmas In the Air....Music Everywhere....but Here...

2011-12-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try to put up some holiday decorations today. I have to confess, however, that my heart is not really in it.

I don't remember when the last time was that I have actually enjoyed this time of year. It's always too rushed. My beginning of the year expectations have all crashed and burned, money always seems to be too tight, and then there is the "dealing with the In-laws."

I'm not sure how the in-law thing is going to work this year though. We normally have a get-together this weekend, but my sister-in-law (who does the planning) remarked that she didn't think we were having one this year. Since she plans the event....I'm not sure what's up with that? I suspect that my other sister-in-law has informed the group that she is not participating because of me.

You may recall back in May that she and I had words at her mother's birthday party. If you don't recall...well, we did and she apparently said some rather unpleasant things about me to my husband...so that may have something to do with the cancellation of the festivities.

Anyway, I'm not 100% in the "Grinch-mode," but I'm not loving those J-I-N-G-L-E Bells either. Instead, there is sort of a "let's get this thing over with" feeling that has me eyeing January 2nd with anticipation. I want that clean slate. I want that opportunity to start things again. And this time....I want to do it all differently. We'll see....

Chicken World: Food Review in Dallas, Georgia

2011-12-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

Review Rating: Two Fish

I've been wanting to try my hand at a restaurant review and the opening of CHICKEN WORLD in Dallas, Georgia gives me a chance.

Having heard nothing but good things about this restaurant on P.com - I was excited to try this place which boasts of incredibly large, meaty Chicken Fingers and the best marinated grilled chicken salad...because... "It's a Chicken World, Baby!"

Well, first the good news. If the size of your chicken fingers matter, then Chicken World is going to make you very happy. Chicken World's fingers are HUGE and just the right amount of crispiness to make for a perfect chicken finger. Sauce for the the fingers are the typical flavors (honey mustard, house, ranch...) and come out in little cups. However; there isn't quite enough sauce in that little cup to make it through eating two chicken fingers because they only fill the little cups about 1/4 full. By the time I was on my second chicken finger, the sauce was depleted from my cup and I was having to steal from my husband's.

To make this a fair "fight" between Chicken World and Zaxby's (which is right up the street) I ordered 2 Fingers and 4 Wings and 2 Other Things - which is comparable to Zaxby's Wings and Things. Meanwhile, the Hubby got the Chicken Finger Plate, which had 5 (I think?) fingers, slaw and french fries. Oh...my "2 Other Things" consisted of french fries and two cheese sticks, plus I got a piece of Texas Toast and some celery.

As far as the taste of the food, it is fairly comparable to Zaxby's. Some of Chicken World's fans on Facebook think this place tastes better, but I would say they are pretty much equal - just bigger chicken fingers. Way...way bigger....

Price. Well...OUCH! Our meals and drinks were over $17.00. I was a bit in shock over this because I had looked at their Facebook page and remembered a comment about Chicken World's food being cheaper. Which...it was.....on Black Friday when they gave a 25-percent discount. (Score one for Zaxby's)

Atmosphere. It's a new place so everything had that "new" feel to it. The dining area, however, needed some attention. The tables could have used wiping off and the dispensers ran out of ketchup while we were there. At some point during our meal someone turned up the music (which was Christmas Carols) to the point that it sounded like there was a live performance in the next room instead of the reality, which was an iPod on full volume in one of those speaker stands sitting near the restroom.

The big disappointment was in the service. The owner was running the register and was either in a bad mood or had his mind on other things. He was polite, but curt and expected you to understand how the food was going to come out without explaining it to you. You're called up by number, but he didn't bother to tell you what your number was or how to know what your number was. It seemed to be an inconvenience to him to tell me when I had to ask.

There is a bit of a wait for orders to come out, which was understandable since the Dallas Christmas Parade had let out and the place was getting quite busy. But...my order was messed up when it finally did come out. No sauces (blue cheese and honey mustard) for the meal and then once I sat down, I discovered I was missing the two fingers that came with the meal. Since I had already made one trip back up to the counter to get the sauces, I expected an apology when I returned a second time. Instead, I was sort of ignored when I first got up to the counter and then when he acknowledged the order was messed up, I was left in a state of flux. Do I sit down and the chicken fingers will be brought to me or do I stand there at the counter and wait for them to appear? It would have been nice to have been told what was going to happen instead of letting the customer try to figure it out.

Finally, and this really had nothing to do with the business itself, but it would be really nice if parents would tell their children to face THEM instead of the people sitting behind them. The boy behind me spent a good part of his "waiting for the food to arrive" time turned in our direction and was blowing into his drink. Not only did I have to hear this, but the bubbles were actually hitting me on the arm at one point and since this is cold and flu season - I felt a strong need to run to the restroom and slather myself with soap and hot water up to my neck. THEN - once he did turn around - the boy couldn't keep still, which gave the booth that we both shared as it was attached in the middle, the feeling that it was moving throughout my entire meal.

I may try Chicken World again at some point, but I'm not going to be one of the one's crowing about how wonderful this place is. All in all, I prefer the cheaper prices at Zaxby's and the good solid booths in their restaurant that provide separation for diners that prefer not to have other people's beverages spewed or spilled on them.

It's Rolling Around Again

2011-11-23T08:51:00.000-08:00

It's Thanksgiving tomorrow. If you have followed my blog over the years, then you probably already know that the day produces a sense of dread that follows all the way through until the new year.

November and December are the months I have to deal with the in-laws. Tomorrow, my husband will ask me once again...do I "want" to go see his mother. I will respond with "I will go if you want me to," which is not the answer he is looking for, but keeps me from saying "only if hell freezes over" or "NO" which leads to arguments and fights and threats of him moving out.

I have come to realize he doesn't respect me. He doesn't get that every time I have to face her my entire body goes into a "fight" or "flight" response and I feel like a dog cornered against a wall. Explaining this to him doesn't work. You see...his mother is a saint and can walk on water and flowers burst into blooms when she walks by. Or....that is the way he sees her.

Meanwhile, adding to this delightful time of the year, I will have to face my sister-in-law at some point and the last time we spoke it was not pleasant. She then proceeded to write my husband an email that basically told him that she doesn't like me and if he ever wants to leave me - she's there to help.

Lovely, lovely people.

So my stomach is in a knot and I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and discover it is January 2nd. The magic and splendor of the holidays that I enjoyed as a child (and even into my years as a young adult) has left and the stress of just surviving until it's all over is all I've got.

I guess that is kind of a downer to read and what I should say is "Happy Thanksgiving," but at the moment....it's all I've got.

Cats Are Funny Creatures

2011-11-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I lost a cat named Pye. She was on the back porch before I went to bed and the next morning she was gone. She was one of the sweetest cats I have ever had. Her one goal in life was to get in the house and to stay there. I was slowly convincing the hubby to let her do just that....when she disappeared.

She left behind two kittens. One, a fluffy yellow boy and the other....a female. She is a long-haired copy of her mother, but has more white on her.

The boy is a sweety, but kind of aloof. The girl...well, she has managed to wiggle right into my heart and at the moment is investigating something on the floor next to me. I suspect in a few minutes....I will feel tiny little claws in my legs and she will want to be on my lap.

"Bella" has an eye issue. Her eye bulged when she was about five weeks old and she is suppose to have surgery for it, but (yep...there's the claws in the leg....) I haven't had the money to get it done.

I did find a cat rescue place that will help, but at the moment I don't even have the money for the blood work.

Anyway, what got me on this topic is that she is just like her mother up to a point and then she is her own person....ummm....cat. She wants to be inside (hubby still won't let her stay full-time) and she likes to sit in a chair at the dining room table. BUT...she's a biter. She likes to play rough and if you give her food - you better get those fingers out of the way! She also doesn't mind being held, but don't try to brush her or comb her for fleas. She has no patience.

And now as I sit here - she has been in my lap, back on the ground and now wants back up. Silly, silly kitty. But...I love her.

I'm Only Happy When it Rains

2011-11-03T14:32:00.000-07:00

It's pouring down rain right now. I won't complain because we need it. In fact, I hope it rains enough that it pulls some of the pollen out of the air. That - or whatever it is that has had me sneezing and my eyes watering for the last few days.

Despite the allergies, I normally love this time of year. The leaves are changing, the mornings are crisp and cool, but the afternoons are still warm enough that you can go outside without completely bundling up. I've always called it "sweater weather."

But...I'm not enjoying fall this year. Instead, I'm actually kind of melancholy. Last year at this time my sweet Golden was starting to lose his battle with cancer. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I have a picture from Halloween where I dressed him up. He hated it when I did that - he always gave me the "what did I do to you?" look that Goldens obviously rehearse when their people aren't looking. We spent last year's Halloween watching old movies. My husband sitting in his chair and my boy in his favorite spot on the couch.

By Thanksgiving - he was having trouble getting up without help. Getting him in and out for potty runs was a chore, but I'd gladly still be doing it today if he were here with us. He's not though and as the anniversary of his crossing the rainbow bridge comes full circle (he died on Christmas Eve day) - I look at the coming holidays and wish I could skip right on over them and land somewhere in mid-January.

It's not just him being gone that bothers me. No, there are money problems and aging parents and a husband that keeps telling me he is not happy, but won't take steps to fix anything. Everyone wants something from me and no one will let me take time to just be. And...I think in the end that is what I need. I need a moment to remember my sweet boy who is no longer with us, I need to think about where I am going and what I am doing. For now it doesn't seem possible, so I look out the window and see the rain and wish for better and happier days.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T14:48:00.000-07:00

Well, if you're reading this blog on Halloween - for once the music I play on it actually mentions the occasion! :-)

Hope you have a "spooktacular" night!

While the mice are away...

2011-10-14T12:14:00.001-07:00

Or...in this case the hubby.

My husband is temporarily working from home again. It's kind of funny because several years ago when he first proposed going to the office to work (he sells real estate), I wasn't too happy about it.

It felt like he was trying to get away from me and I also resented that he had a place to go and I didn't.

Now, it is so many years later (five or six I think?) and he is back until the beginning of November. This time around; however, I am counting down the days until the house is mine again.

It's hard to get anything done when your routine is suddenly knocked off schedule. My quiet mornings of contemplation have been interrupted by someone wanting to "talk" before I have my caffeine. I say "talk" because he talks and I listen. I'm not awake. I'm not functioning. I'm not in the mood to discuss the weather, life, or anything else.

I also feel like I am on some kind of time clock. If I want to sleep late, he's taking notes. My normal lunch hour of one o'clock, well --- it's now 3:19 and he is suppose to be bringing something back and he still hasn't arrived with it.

I wouldn't say this mouse plays when the cat is away, but after getting use to my solitary work days, I gotta say this mouse is ready for some peace and quiet again!

EBay - Failure to Launch: Day One and Two

2011-10-06T09:53:00.001-07:00

Hello, my fellow fishies....

I'm back where I started.

Two years ago I left eBay and pet sitting to start writing full-time. I won't say I was unsuccessful, but I never did achieve the level of success I was looking for.

The main company I was writing for was an online content site called Demand Studios and then Demand Media Studios (after they went public on the stock exchange). I love the company and still do....

But....their business model is changing. The articles available to the writers have gotten increasingly harder to write. I came to the conclusion at the end of last week that something has to change. I recently sold a couple of guitars on eBay for my husband and over the last few days a plan has started to form. I'm not giving up writing, but I am coming back to eBay.

Before, the plan was to write full-time and sell eBay part-time. The new and improved plan is to sell eBay full-time and write part-time.

I've decided that I will document about my return to eBay. Can you make a full-time living doing eBay? Well, you'll have to follow this blog to find out!

Anyway, yesterday was my "kick-off" day, but......I had a little trouble getting my listings to launch. Apparently, eBay didn't have an updated credit cart on record for me and Auctiva got a message from them and put a screeching halt to my plans.

This was taken care of this morning (day two). But....it's now 1:00 in the afternoon. Not sure how successful this day will be - but I'm going to get some lunch and regroup.

So....that's what this blog will not be about. Well, that...and I may still do an occasional "generic versus the real thing" or just vent about life in general. We'll just have to see....

When Summer and Fall Collide

2011-09-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

Although there is a slight breeze in the air and I'm starting to see a few leaves drop onto the driveway, my short trip outside to give one of the cats a treat brought me back indoors sweating. I LOVE this kind of weather. Actually, I like it just a tad cooler, but I'll take this over any hot, humid day of summer.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep myself from putting Halloween decorations out. Yes, people here are already doing that. I will confess to having Halloween bat clingy things on my French doors, but they have been there since last year to help keep birds from flying into the glass.

Where I'm going with all this is...it's very hard to want to work indoors today. I wish I had a laptop and WiFi so I could sit outdoors and write. I actually have a laptop, but it is a dinosaur of a thing and I think the concept of "WiFi" would probably have it quivering in terror. Actually, I'm not even sure where that laptop is....probably hiding in the back of the closet somewhere hoping that I will quit saying "WiFi."

Anyway, although lately I have been wondering what in the world I am doing living in the state of Georgia (it's too hot in the summer and the pollen drives me crazy in spring and fall) - toady is one of those days where I am happy I'm here.

Now....if I can just make myself get to work....

Kitten Update

2011-08-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

I've bestowed the name "Bella" on the kitten. I guess it is a nod to TWILIGHT. We went back to the vet last Friday. Our regular vet says that he can do the surgery, but Bella needs to weigh at least two pounds. This puts the surgery out to about a month away.

I have been worried about Bella being outside. Although she appears to have some vision in one eye, she still struggles to see. She wants to play with the other kittens, but their rough and tumble antics are a little hard for her. She gamely tries, then gives up and pursues a leaf to play with or bounces around the porch instead.

The surprising thing in all of this; however, has been my husband. I expected him to be tender-hearted towards her and to take an interest in her after he realized how attached I'd gotten to her. This is the man that has stopped and gotten turtles off the road, tried to help an injured fawn and adopted and brought home our cat Ginger when she showed up one night at a convenience store we owned.

This man I have seen over the last few days is not the same person who did all those things. He has been cruel and uncaring about Bella's fate. He suggested taking her to the pound where she could be put to sleep. He wants all of our cats to go to the pound. He keeps insisting he doesn't own the cats, they are strays.

Twice now I have brought up the issue about letting her stay inside. He doesn't want to discuss it. He wants all the cats gone. I think this is his sisters doing. She has apparently been telling him that he needs to get rid of them. She says that they will get rabies and she wonders how we have the money to feed them. Ironically, this is all from the woman that has two cats, two dogs, a pig, chickens, ducks and a rabbit.

So...we are at an impasse on this one. My uncaring, irrational husband and I. This is not the man I married. It is not the man I love. I'm not sure what all she has been saying to him. I can hear his sister's words though when he speaks. I don't know how such a shrew of a woman can influence my own husband's tendency to have a caring nature, but so far....she is winning.

Kitten Dilemma

2011-08-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

So....one of our barn cats had three kittens. I was just about to make an appointment with the vet to get her fixed when this occurred. She lost the smallest one, the second one is doing okay, but the third...

The third is having eye problems. Bad eye problems. As in one of the eyes is very swollen and nasty looking.

A trip to the vet was inconclusive other than the vet says the vision in that eye is gone and the best thing to do is to remove it. IF an eye doctor would even work on a kitten of that age. (Six to 8 weeks old)

Unfortunately, that would cost between $700-$1500 and we just don't have it. My first thought was that it might be best to just put this poor thing to sleep, but I've been taking care of it over the weekend and this kitten is a fighter. It deserves to live. It eats, it plays, it has figured out how to move around (albeit slowly) without getting into too much trouble.

I'm going to call a woman at a cat rescue this afternoon to see if she has any ideas about what to do. Hopefully, she will have some thoughts on this. This kitten deserves to make it. I just have to find a way to make it happen.

Frantic Friday

2011-08-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

I got up early, but I'm behind already and it's not even lunch time.

The problem with getting up early is that if the hubby is still here, he thinks it is okay to start talking to me. Which....while I want to be the supportive wife, actually means that he is going to throw my schedule off by fifteen to thirty minutes. I multi-task in the morning. I do my social media stuff, read some emails, look at Facebook, all while I'm eating breakfast. When the hubby chooses to talk; however, I can't concentrate and either have to ignore him or stop what I'm doing.

Yes, I've tried explaining this to him. He doesn't 'get' it or he forgets we have had this little talk and then it starts all over again. Sometimes he will launch into "we don't communicate anymore," so I let him talk and it throws me off my schedule and that's how it goes.

Frustrating, frantic....Friday.

Busy Summer...Part Two

2011-08-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here watching kittens play as I try to think of something to write. There's a lot I want to tell you, but where do I even begin? It's like I'm back in school and someone has just asked, "So...what did you do this summer?"

I really haven't been up to anything exciting. It's mostly been work that has kept me away. I'm desperately trying to stick to my writing schedule. The writing that pays the bills, rather than the writing that I do for fun.

Unfortunately, I've also sort of been in a fog for the last few months. I don't know if I would call it depression, but perhaps a sense of being so overwhelmed that it has taken all my energy to just make it through the day.

People that I have counted on, have let me down. I've let myself down. I feel like I'm failing at everything at the moment and I can't take the time to even sit down and figure out "where do I go from here."

So...there you have it. That's what I've been going through on my summer hiatus. It didn't seem fair to constantly whine about how things aren't going right. Just better to take some time away and try to work through some things.

Anyway, I'm back for the moment (at least). I don't know if I will blog here each day - but I am going to try to post something a couple or few days a week. I may use you as a sounding board or I may whine. But....I've decided I enjoy blogging and I miss it. So for now...I will at least be here...at least some of the time. :-)

Busy Summer

2011-07-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

I confess I've neglected this blog. I said I would do better, but it just hasn't happened. Part of it has been because this has been a busy summer. I wish I could say I've been out having lots of fun, but the truth of it is that it has been mostly a lot of mundane stuff that has made life very hectic. Some days....it feels like things are coming at me from all sides.

The hubby and I were doing somewhat better until this morning. He gets an idea in his mind and once he does, he has tunnel vision. He doesn't see anything else, he doesn't want to talk about anything else and there is no getting him to see reason, no matter how illogical or ill conceived his plan is.

To put this in context, he sold a guitar. The purpose of selling the guitar was to catch up on two bills that we have owed for a couple of years. I supported that. When you are only making $20 payments and you owe over $1000, it is going to take you a long time to get anywhere. But....now he want to try to make a payment on a 3rd bill. I disagree. We can't pay it off and the money that is left would buy new brakes for one of the vehicles, or take care of a couple of household things that we have put off doing for far too long. Of course, it was HIS guitar, so he thinks he should decide. We go from being partners to him thinking he is supreme ruler.

So it goes....he'll pout if we don't do it his way. Things will go undone if we do. In the end, one of us will be unhappy because he can't learn the word "compromise."

And....this is how so far....my summer has gone....

Happy fourth of July weekend!

2011-07-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

Just checking in to tell you - I am still here! I'm getting ready to relaunch Sushiboofay's on eBay - in fact - I sold one of my husband's guitars on there this week! (Yay!)

No store - but I will be having auctions and fixed price listings.

I'm also still doing the "writing thing."

Except for writing on this blog....

I just find it hard to write when my life seems to stay in such chaos. My thoughts aren't organized and no one wants to read stuff that is such a downer...all the time. But...I'll get through it. Going to chill today and do some thinking. Hope you're staying cool and enjoying some time off!

So...if you ever search my computer

2011-06-09T07:26:00.000-07:00

Reading about the Casey Anthony trial this morning and the discussion was about evidence found on her (the families?) computer. Someone apparently searched for how to make chloroform, internal bleeding, and other unusual search terms that Prosecutors think are relevant to the case.

It kind of made me wonder about what you might find on my computer. As a group of mystery writers once discussed (when we were discussing ways to dispose of a body in a septic tank... no less) - I'm a mystery writer, I research ways to kill people and get rid of bodies. I will confess that I sometimes follow disappearances. Search my computer and several cases (Harmon, Bobo and the NY Serial killer) will come up. I was particularly entranced with the disappearance of Meredith Emerson and (of course) I look from time to time to see if my friend's brother (Brian Wherle) case has any updates.

Since no one in Casey's family has offered that they are working on a mystery novel; however, I do have to admit the searches are a little strange. "Hand-to-hand combat" for one. I can sort of see her brother (did he live with the rest of the family?) maybe searching for this kind of thing - you know how some guys like fighting). It even seems like something guys might search for....but the chloroform....yeah, that is kind of strange.

Anyway, while I wouldn't rush to judge anyone by what they have searched for on their computer, it does make you stop and think about some of the things you may have innocently searched for, or even sites that you accidentally ended up on. Innocent or something more? For...who knows what evil lurks in the mind of men? The Shadow

Just bear with me...

2011-06-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

After becoming Jeanette Cates member of the day yesterday, I've decided to try to move forward with this blog. I will have to warn you; however, that you are probably going to find that this blog is going to be more about nothing than something...at least most of the time.

My life is not swimming along right now (swimming as in "fish" as in the name of this blog - get it?). I'm stressed. I'm tired and I am probably actually depressed, although I haven't had a doctor put an official label on it.

Nothing is going right at the moment.

There are so many things I want to do and need to do, yet all of them seem to revolve around waiting on something else. For instance, I want to take a kickboxing class. I can't do this until I get some workout clothes. I can't get the workout clothes until I have a little extra money to get the clothes. I can't get the extra money because I'm not writing as much as I need to be. I'm not writing as much as I need to because I'm tired ALL the time.

And so it goes....

Anyway, I'll get through it. I keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am making slow changes. I'm trying to stay positive. It's just that life is hard sometimes....but I guess that is what gives us our experiences.

Nothing to see here....

2011-06-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

Move it along....

I discovered a little while ago that I was Jeanette Cate's member of the day. Ironically, I had thought about updating this blog earlier this morning, but got busy and forgot about it.

The truth is, I've got so much personal junk going on, I just haven't felt much like blogging. I actually haven't felt much like doing anything, but that's another story.

Anyway, in honor of the 30 day blog challenge - I'll try to get back going here. I miss blogging, I just don't want to scare people off with all my whining and venting...

William and Kate - The Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T09:34:00.001-07:00

Today's wedding was sort of a "circle of life" moment for me. Back in 1981, I actually drug myself out of bed to watch the wedding ceremony of Prince Charles and Diana.

This time around - I taped the wedding and haven't quite finished watching it yet (William just saw Kate (now Catherine) at the altar), but my fascination with the couple is still the same. I wonder how Kate felt as she made her way to the church. The expectations, the duties, the fairytale. It's all hers now.

We know how it turned out for Diana, but back then it all seemed so romantic. Who knew that the marriage was just a well-executed event and that Charles was actually in love with Camellia? Instead, we remember that super-long train that Diana's wedding dress had and that tender kiss on the balcony.

As William and Kate ride off into the sunset tonight, I can't help wonder how their story will turn out. Hopefully, it will be a long and pleasant one.

Highway 78 Yard Sale or 2009 Revisited

2011-04-26T07:52:00.000-07:00

In April 2009 I casually posted on this blog that I was going to the Highway 78 yard sale the next day.

Last year I noticed that I had several views to this entry, but it didn't dawn on me until this year as to why. Apparently Google has decided to rank me on the first page when you do a search for the Highway 78 yard sale, which happens every April.

I feel kind of bad about this because all that blog entry says is that I am going to the yard sale and I hope to get there early.

For those that want to know the rest of the story or rather - "is this thing worth going to?" I guess I would say - yes and no. There weren't nearly as many yard sales as I thought there would be. There were a bunch of them in the city of Villa Rica, but the people there thought highly of their stuff and the prices certainly weren't what I could call yard sale prices. Several antique stores were set up that day and it was a combination of high-priced antiques and clearance item junk.

Traveling towards Tallapoosa was more productive. I scored a Lenox Christmas plate (that sold for a good bit of money on eBay), some platters (which names I don't remember, but sold them on eBay too) and some vintage jewelry (which I still have - but will probably sell one day soon). I bought some other items that I later sold too, but at the moment I don't remember exactly what they were.

Our final stop was in Tallapoosa right in front of the Piggly Wiggly (love that name!). The yard sale actually went a little further toward the Alabama line, but we were tired and hungry. A stop at the Bremen Cracker Barrel was a nice end to the day.

In retrospect, I would recommend this yard sale as an outing - IF you live nearby. However, I certainly wouldn't say (at that time anyway) that it would be worth driving from the other side of Atlanta or another state to visit. This may have changed (it could be better or it could be worse), but the scenery and drive along the way is beautiful, April weather in Georgia is typically nice (slightly warm) and it is a fair outing (or was at the time). Anyway, for those stopping by my blog today - I hope this makes it into the Google rankings and helps give you a little more information than that other entry. If you do go to the Highway 78 Yard Sale - please return and leave some comments about how it was and if you think it is worth visiting again!

The Terminator - When timelines collide

2011-04-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

When I first saw the movie Terminator August 1997 (the date when Skynet becomes self-aware) seemed many years away. That date came and went and I never really gave it any thought.

Today, I was amused when I logged onto Twitter and discovered that according to the Sarah Connor Chronicles, this Thursday is actually the day Skynet goes live.

Ironically, Twitter changed its sign-in page today, adding to the fun of the event. While I don't think it is quite time to stockpile supplies and run out and get a gun, I am hopeful that perhaps one of the cable television stations will show a Terminator marathon on that day. That would be totally awesome!

Lots of thinking going on....

2011-04-11T08:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've been missing for awhile (again). The truth is - I have had a lot on my mind, but when I have sat down and tried to write it out on here, it has just been a jumbled mess and I end up deleting it.

Which...is sort of what I want to do right now....

Life has just been a bit on the overwhelming side. I can't seem to get a handle on my schedule. Family pressures. The doing of what needs to be done over what I want to do. It's all just been too much really - to the point of where one day - I just had to lay down in bed and feel really, really sorry for myself until I snapped out of it.

Anyway, I'm doing somewhat better now. I'm planning things and trying to get more organized. I'm reminding myself that my needs have to come before anyone else's or I don't function at the level I need to. It's a struggle and sometimes I slip back in to the old ways, but I'm growing. I feel it. I just have to keep up the fight.

My dream job - TV reviews

2011-03-30T12:23:00.000-07:00

In a perfect world I would get paid handsomely for watching television and then writing about it. Alas, I'm writing about it, but I only make enough to sometimes buy myself a cup of Starbuck's coffee. Anyway, here is a review of Body of Proof and is basically what I've been up to today.

R.I.P. Elizabeth Taylor - Gone at 79

2011-03-23T08:29:00.001-07:00

Although I was too young to remember Elizabeth Taylor when she was at the top of her stardom, I still knew she was an icon even when she really wasn't making movies anymore.

When she decided to play Helena Cassadine on General Hospital - it was big news. If my generation didn't know who she was before her appearance on the show - they certainly did after.

I could go on and tell you about her 8 husbands, her charity work for her AIDS foundation, and her friendship with Michael Jackson, but the main thing I am going to remember her for is that she lived her life to its fullest. She never gave up on romance. She spoke her mind. She was opinionated and she was feisty. I know that I (nor almost any other woman) will never compare in her beauty, but I do hope that somehow one day I can capture that same type of free-spirit for myself.

RIP Elizabeth Taylor. You will be missed.

Creating my own tsunami

2011-03-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

On Friday I posted a note on the DSR blog about how it kind of bugs me that when a disaster strikes another country, we (Americans) are quick to get out our checkbooks and donate. When a disaster strikes our own country; however, it doesn't get nearly as much attention and we (Americans) don't donate nearly as much.

Somehow, this post was interpreted by some people as if I was saying we shouldn't give money to Japan. This is NOT what I was saying at all. What I was saying - was more of a question. Why do we (Americans) give so quickly to other countries, but when things happen here - we sit back and wait for the government to fix it? In the example I used - I was talking about Nashville.

Nashville had a flood in early 2010. Towards the end of last year, Garth Brooks gave a concert to raise funds for Nashville because they still needed money. The point of my blog post was --- why does Nashville still need money - why didn't people open their pocketbooks and billfolds and help the people there?

In the end, I actually know why. The BIG disasters - the really horrific, caustropic, "can't believe that happened", "how awful" disasters are engrained in our memory as the media plays the same scenes over and over and over. Meanwhile, the smaller (although how can any disaster that ruins property and takes lives be called "small") disasters don't get the same airtime, so people don't realize the need is there or remains there. They assume the Red Cross has it under control and our government is fixing things. I get it. I really do.

Anyway, what I was trying to say and what people thought I was trying to say - were two entirely different things. I was told I was writing as if I had a political agenda (which really hurt my feelings) and it was implied that I was against the Japanese, which I found ironic because I once had a pen pal (remember the tv show "Big Blue Marble?") who lived in Toyko and he has been on my mind every single day since the earthquake happened. We lost touch many, many years ago (as children do when they grow older), but his letters are still here somewhere - stored away in a box with my other childhood momentos. I hope he's okay. I hope all of the people there can rebuild their lives and....despite what people thought I was saying - I do hope that people donate money to the Red Cross to help.

It's Friday!

2011-03-11T15:00:00.000-08:00

I'm blogging over at DSRs of Our Lives today. Join me there for some thought on the earthquake in Japan and how we look at catastrophes in other parts of the world compared to ours here at home!

Blogger - You Amuse Me Sometimes

2011-03-10T08:21:00.000-08:00

I am addicted to the printed word. I love to read. Lately, one of my obsessions is blogs. Once I have scanned through the blogs that I follow, I can't help myself and I click on "next blog" at the top of last blog I have read - just to see what else is out there.

But...I'm not sure how Blogger decides what you want to look at next. Today, my click to the "next blog" carried me to a rather sad little blog by a woman who had lost her child. The one following that was about a woman trying to get pregnant, and the one after that was by a woman going through infertilization. None of these had ANYTHING to do with the blog I had been reading.

Another time....I ended up linking to a bunch of sites written by people studying the bible or quoting scriptures. Maybe Blogger thinks I should find religion? I've also ended up looking at foreign blogs (looks interesting - but I have no clue what they are blogging about...) and even some companies seem to keep blogs on here.

Anyway, for fun - I will pull up my blog from the 8th and click "next blog." I will post whatever blog it leads to below....

http://stevebedard.blogspot.com/?expref=next-blog

Obviously Blogger is back on it's religious kick! How funny!

Hurt Feelings or Why Do I Bother?

2011-03-08T15:51:00.000-08:00

I never know whether I should blog when I'm not in a good mood because I end up being very pessimistic and clearly show signs of being unhappy, which in "blog land" really isn't a good thing if you want to keep readers.

I am unhappy today; however, and my feelings are hurt and...well, I just want to vent.

Although I have hung up pet sitting I still attend our local pet sitters meetings since we are an unofficial group and it's more like friends hanging out than pet sitters meeting. Today was the day of the meeting, but for some insane reason the so-called president of our group decided to meet at another location. This virtually made it impossible for me to make it to the meeting, so I attempted to get it changed back to the usual location.

I had the support of one member, but the other member (who I was counting on to back me up) didn't. Instead, when I mentioned that I would have to eat at the other location BY MYSELF - she said "well, that should work" and either didn't catch the BY MYSELF part or ignored it. The "well, that should work" comment has since crawled in and made itself at home and now my feelings are hurt and I should just get over it, but I can't.

I am tired of everyone doing their own thing. All the years we've been meeting - it has been at this one place, so today of all days - the location gets changed and when I ask that it not be - I am just totally ignored.

Obviously, I need to give this group up. They don't care about me and I'm not pet sitting anymore so I really don't belong there. But I'm sad...and I'm hurt and it has made today totally awful.

So, there you have it and thanks for putting up with my little vent and now I'm going to get off the computer and go sulk for a while.

Like watching a train wreck....Charlie Sheen

2011-03-04T08:42:00.000-08:00

There is unrest in the middle east, but most of the attention this week (with the media at least) has been on Charlie Sheen and his ever continuing downward spiral.

We've seen it before with Britney Spears, but while Britney was just wandering around doing off-the-wall things, Charlie Sheen is actually making the news for some of the things he has said. He also chose to do several interviews, which only added to the speculation that he is A) on drugs B) bi-polar C)his choo-choo done chugged around the bend.

This string of events culminated in him losing custody of his kids. On a positive note, he didn't fly off the handle or scare his kids when the police arrived to take them away. He was polite and kept it together, if not for his own sake - for that of his kids.

I like Charlie Sheen. I use to love to watch his show Two and a Half Men, but for the last couple of seasons the show seemed to have evolved into 30 minutes of potty jokes and while I'm no prude, I have better things to do with my time than watch grown men using adolescent behavior for humor.

Anyway, I hope Charlie Sheen finds the help he needs before things go too far. Most of the stars have been fairly lucky and found help and redemption before they ended up on the news as having overdosed in a motel room somewhere, but up to now no one has been able to get across to him that he needs treatment (for whatever is going on) and I think as long as the media embraces his craziness, he will remain out of control.

Monday's Musings..or why I must go feed my cat

2011-02-21T15:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, so pretend you see a photo of my cat here. I was going to actually include a photo of her, but I really DO need to feed her, so after a quick scan of "my photos" and not finding one, you will just have to imagine what she looks like. Which...is what I believe they call a tortoise shell cat or kind of an odd colored calico.

Anyway, it is 6:20 in the evening and she has been hanging around the door since 4 p.m. She knows she doesn't eat until around 6, but she remains hopeful all the same. As the hours pass by, she moves from staring (glaring?) in from the French doors to standing on the windowsill of the kitchen sink window and looking in.

If this doesn't get my attention (which is does, but I ignore her - since she doesn't eat until SIX), she next moves to pawing at the French doors and eventually will start meowing. In between this - she wields her iron claw and fights with her sisters and nieces and lets them know that she is the Queen cat and in charge.

So now we are at the "can't you see I'm starving phase" and louder meowings and she's staring at me now....so I guess I really should go feed my cat.

It's like waiting for a call from the doctor

2011-02-17T14:35:00.000-08:00

My Jeep is in the shop.

On Tuesday night it stopped in the middle of a parking lot and then decided to do it two more times after I got it into a parking place. In its defense, it has been trying to tell me that it wasn't feeling well for a couple of months now. That little orange service light has been coming on and going off intermittently, but since it wasn't flashing (which means impending doom) - I just kind of ignored it.

After the repeated stalling incident I knew I couldn't do that anymore. On Wednesday we took it to the mechanic. Unfortunately, "Dale" our mechanic seems to be under a lot of stress this go around (we had great service the previous time) and he keeps telling me he will call me back in five minutes or "just a little while" and then I don't hear from him. It is now 20 minutes to six. I NEED my Jeep. I HAVE to have it for tomorrow. He told me he would call me "in a little while" about four hours ago. Aargh!

Okay...five more minutes and he is going to hear from me. Gah!

It Was As Bad As All That

2011-02-15T07:57:00.000-08:00

So you thought I was kidding when I said the romance was dead. Well, if you did - you were wrong. Yesterday wasn't the worst Valentine's day ever, but it is definitely in the top five.

To be fair it wasn't 100% the hubbies fault. He had two or three last minute things come up with clients and he DID plan to get home early so we could go out to eat. BUT....

No flowers. This year I even pointed out a couple of African violets and an orchid that I thought were nice. He even made a remark "I thought you wanted roses" and I said "that would be fine too." In the end, however, he came empty-handed and except for a card (that he bought on Sunday) that was it.

We DID eat out. Red Lobster - which was nice, but since he was late getting home, we were late getting there and it was crowded with a 75 minute wait. We got around the wait by taking seats in the bar. No problem there, except they have you sit on these tall chairs and I'm so short that my legs just sort of dangle and eventually one of them fell asleep. Not the most comfortable meal I've ever had, but the food was great.

Anyway, I guess the rest of the evening went okay. I'm just disappointed that he thinks once your married, the romance is no longer necessary. I also realize that I didn't get him anything but cards either. I use to make him cookies, buy balloons, etc, etc. - so maybe I need to work on things from my end too.

Thankfully, though this years Valentine's day is over and boy am I glad!

The Romance is Dead

2011-02-11T08:15:00.000-08:00

Several years ago there was a commercial where an older couple sat at the dinner table eating soup. The woman says "the romance is gone, everytime the lights go out - you fall asleep." A few seconds later, the lights actually do go out and you hear the man fall asleep in his soup.

I thought about that commercial yesterday when I was wandering around in Barnes and Noble and stumbled upon the book The Five Languages of Love for Men. I don't recall the author (it's a very popular book, however), but as I flipped through it (I didn't realize at the time that it was the men's version!) it talked about how the man needed to romance the woman with little gifts to make her feel appreciated. I didn't really give much thought to it until I was driving home and then I sort of had a "yeah, that guy was right" moment after I pondered it some more.

Granted - at the moment finances are tight in our household. Heck, they are beyond tight we are squeaking by at times and sometimes just barely. BUT....even when times were better, the hubby had reached the point where he no longer thought it was necessary to woo me. He even commented one Valentine's day that he didn't see a reason to buy flowers, after all, they don't last very long and weren't they sort of a waste of money? He finally went back to buying them (I guess the chilly silence from me helped), but then it became this crazy 'tradition' where after we go out to eat, he would stop at Kroger and go in (with me still in the car) and get the roses. NO thought put into the idea at ALL.

Once upon a time, this was NOT my husband. My husband surprised me with jewelry in a Japanese restaurant by having the waitress bring the box to me after we finished eating. He also once led me on a scavenger hunt through the house to find a fur coat. (Okay, I wouldn't wear fur NOW, but this was before the days of PETA and I didn't really think about where fur actually came from...) He even surprised me by taking me to a restaurant called Aunt Fanny's farm. Except, he didn't think about getting reservations and that turned into about a two hour wait for a table. BUT...at least he tried.

This upcoming Valentine's day, however, I'm not getting my hopes up. I suppose we will go out to eat, but he seems to think that dinner out and a card are enough. I will hear from friends who were surprised by romantic getaways this weekend, flowers, and candy, but here....here I suspect it will be "where do you want to eat" and off will go for dinner and he'll leave a card somewhere for me to find when we get back and that will be that.

Yep, the romance is dead.

This blogging stuff is hard work!

2011-02-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

Since I am a writer (or at least that's what it says on my business card), one would think that I would be able to sit down at the computer and compose a blog that is witty, thoughtful and clever. Instead, there are some days when I basically sit here for about fifteen minutes, stare at the screen and wonder "who am I kidding?"

Today, is one of those days. I have no clue what to write about. Do I tell you that my husband commented this morning that he thinks I am depressed? Do I write about the snow that came in last night and is quickly melting away? How about a deep thought I've had that will enlighten you? Truth is, while those where all things I thought about writing, when I actually started to...I got NOTHING.

Anyway, in the end I thought I would just say for today...."this blogging stuff is HARD work!" I admire those that can sit down each day and entertain their readers with wit, charisma and a keen sense of what the reader wants to know. Here...meanwhile (today anyway)....maybe not, but if nothing else...perhaps....I have at least helped cure those of you with insomnia. If so...then my work here for today (anyway) is done.

A little experiment

2011-02-05T21:42:00.000-08:00

I love this video and the music is beautiful!

Note: Put the blog music on "pause" before you play the video, so the two don't play at the same time!

Flaking out, yet again...

2011-02-03T21:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have good intentions - but it sometimes seems like my life just floats from one chaotic period of stress to the other. I had planned on writing about my dog's cancer, but a sinus infection returned instead and I ended up at the doctor.

Two antibiotics, two nose sprays, PLUS generic Allegra and Sudafed later and I am getting better, but still haven't gotten over it. Meanwhile, I can't seem to get any "real" (meaning paid) writing done and...oh...yeah...did I mention my blood pressure is up?

Anyway, I apologize for being so sporadic and such a flake. I really should say that I am going to write about something because there is just no way of knowing if that will occur right now or not. I just feel like a hamster on one of those little wheels. Going, going, going, but not really getting anywhere....

Nasal Squamous Cell Carcinoma - a truly horrid disease

2011-01-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

I had never heard of nasal squamous cell carcinoma (SCC) before last year. It is a horrid, horrid disease that apparently is the most common form of cancer found in the sinus cavity. It's also apparently a type of cancer that appears in older dogs, typically those with longer snouts.

I'm telling you this because a month ago today (Christmas eve day) we had to put our beloved Golden of 12 years to sleep. He fought a good battle, but on that morning he was telling us that he giving up his fight and we made the very painful choice to let him go. I've replayed those last few days a 1000 times or more in my mind and I still wonder if I could have done something else - something different. My one goal since October had been to have him with us through Christmas. I feel like I failed. He wasn't eating, his energy level was dropping, we worried about what we would do if he started suffering on Christmas day or the following day. Snow was expected and, of course, our vets office would be closed. I know it was the right thing to do, but when I rethink through all of it, I still wonder if it was a knee-jerk reaction because of all the "what if's" hanging out there. The vet said we were right and it was time, but still....some days I just wonder.

Frisco was diagnosed with this at the beginning of last year. I sometimes thought I should blog about it, but I tend to keep the painful personal parts of my life private and although I told some people, I just couldn't bring myself to put it out there on the Internet. In some case, I didn't even tell close friends. Or...maybe they aren't really close friends....but that's another story.

Anyway, as I said in the beginning, today is one month since we made the choice to let him go. I miss him every single day. I probably should tell you some more about this disease and what to watch for (sneezing, bloody nose), but that will have to wait for another post on another day. Maybe tomorrow or perhaps when it doesn't hurt so bad to think about it. For now, I just wanted to speak (write) the words outloud. I miss my boy. I miss him terribly and it hurts so much.

Snow Day!

2011-01-10T20:58:00.000-08:00

The snow started moving into our area last night (Sunday) at about 9:00 p.m.. In about an hour we had two inches and by 11:00 p.m. there were five.

Today turned into a snow day even though I work from home. I did manage to get one article done, but the hubby was home today and I find it incredibly hard to concentrate on writing when someone else is around me talking or doing stuff.

Anyway, this photo is to show you what our road looked like. Actually....it STILL looks this way and maybe even a little worse.

It's going to be a looonnnngggg week!

Back In the Saddle Again

2011-01-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

So....here we are in 2011. I've spend the better part of the day trying to get settled into my writing routine, but it just isn't going to happen today. For starters, the Hubby has only just now left to go to the office and it is almost 2:30 in the afternoon. Our upstairs heating unit went out last night and he spent the better part of the morning trying to decide if there was some way it could be repaired instead of replaced. (Yes, we can dump more freon into it, but that's a temporary patch that is getting less and less effective.)

He finally got off of this, but by then it was almost lunch time and he got a few calls. Each time he gets off the phone he starts talking to me. For some reason - he doesn't stop to think that although he is NOT at the office --- I am sitting in mine...so....I finally gave up trying to write and started doing research instead.

Now....it is almost time for me to run over to my parent's house. This was pre-arranged and already planned for the day, but this will throw the writing schedule off even more. And yet....at the end of the week....everyone is going to ask why I didn't get more done.

Excuse me now....while I got butt my head into the wall a few times.....

Aaargh!

Bah Humbug continued....

2010-12-21T15:12:00.001-08:00

The ole Christmas spirit took a bit more of a hit this morning when the hubby commented that he was thinking of going over to his mother's house on Christmas. Now...I don't have anything against him visiting his mother......BUT.....we already HAD Christmas with her. HIS family is the one that decided we would meet a couple of weeks before Christmas. So.....why does there have to be a "round two?"

Why...even more so....does he continue to think that I "might" want to go with him???? I just don't get it. He was slipping in the "we" word. Wouldn't you think that at some point - he would realize --- that continuing to do this is causing problems? Wouldn't it be easier to just say, "Honey, I understand you two don't get along - so don't worry about going with me - I just want you to be happy."

Okay, so I'm dreaming. Anyway, somewhere around 11 am this morning my stomach went into a giant knot and my concentration left and I've been feeling a 'fight or flight' feeling all day ever since. What little Christmas spirit I had...at the moment...has vanished. I don't even want to finish putting up the decorations and at the moment there is still a Christmas tree sitting in the living room with no decorations and only lights. I'm not very inspired to work on it. I just want to go off somewhere and have a good cry....maybe until it's January 2nd and all this is over.

Ho Ho Ho...or Bah Humbug....

2010-12-20T07:31:00.000-08:00

I'm finding it hard to believe it is almost Christmas. The time has just flown since Halloween and now hear we are...

Unfortunately, instead of being ready for it - I'm more behind than ever. Not sure how this happened - I had good intentions, but instead of starting early (for me anyway) I've let it all roll-over to this week.

The tree - which has finally made it inside after spending a few days strapped to the top of my car - is now indoors, but remains undecorated. I had planned to at least get some lights on it last night, but by the time we got home - it was just too late and I didn't have the energy to fool with it.

Meanwhile....I've gotten two Christmas cards written. (I hope to get those finished today) I also have gifts to buy, a menu to plan and some house cleaning needs to happen, as well as a couple of loads of laundry.

Needless to say....you probably won't hear much from me over the next few days and maybe not until January. I was going to take a "hiatus" from the blog-thing, but then I think of some things I want to say and I like the option of being able to post if time will allow.

If I don't get to post - I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and great New Year's eve and if I do get to post - well, bare with me - since I will probably have a couple of "Bah Humbug" moments before it's through!

Until then....

Ho Ho Ho....

Youth Is Wasted On the Young

2010-12-09T08:15:00.000-08:00

There is a girl (young woman) that is on a forum I frequent. Every time I read one of her posts I have to restrain my fingers from taking over the keyboard and setting her straight. After my fiasco with LA (the friend who has the thing for married men) - I decided I wasn't going to waste energy trying to help a person who obviously has some mistakes they need to make to learn and grow. Plus this person is at the age where she knows "everything" and you honestly can't tell her anything.

The first time I encountered one of her posts (threads) she was thinking of moving to another state. She was determined she would pick an area that had a high crime rate because the housing was so cheap there. (Duh!) I actually tried to gently disuade her from this idea, but she has a big case of the "yeah, buts..." and I finally just stopped reading her thread. ("Yeah buts" is a syndrome where a person dismisses your concerns with a "I understand, yeah...BUT...." and then has some ridiculous arguement as to why you don't know what you are talking about.

After a week or more of people trying to talk her out of this (and some supporting her....) the conversation died and topics moved on to something else.

THEN....she returns again....but this time she is off to teach in a foreign country. She picks three countries that have political problems right now....(there's a surprise) and everyone starts warning her about this, but.....well....you get the picture.

Today, the girl is thinking of lightening her hair and changing the color of her eyes with contacts so she will be better accepted. I held my hands away from the keyboard to keep myself from telling her that until she gets rid of the face piercings and stops posting drunken pictures of herself and her friends on the Internet.....I don't think anyone is going to take her seriously. NOT in the countries she wants to move to. In fact....the face piercings would probably get her arrested. Yes....one of the countries is THAT strict about what people can and can't do.

Anyway, she is blissfully unaware of the realities of life and I guess at her age that is okay....BUT...I think I will stop reading the posts that she starts. My fingers can't stand being restrained and I am about to have to sit on them to stop them from typing! :-O

Sex and the country?

2010-12-03T20:36:00.000-08:00

I finally got to watch part of the first Sex and the City movie tonight. As I mentioned a couple of years ago, I was suppose to be seeing it with a friend of mine, but she blew me off and saw it with another friend...who I have decided....she deemed to be more hip and cooler than I am.

I had to ask myself if Carrie would have blown one of her three friends off to go off with another gal pal and decided the answer was an unequivocal NO. In other words.....I probably really need to sit down one day and reevaluate my friendships with some of these people.

Anyway, every time I was SATC and Carrie does her narrative, I start feeling that I should write that way, or rather....I WANT to write that way. The problem is, while her life is interesting and filled with the drama of Mr. Big and her apartment, shoes and her career. My life revolves around being married, living in a rural country area....and I can't even tell you the last time I had lunch with more than one woman at a time.

Yep, my life is devoid of the wonderful friendships that Carrie had...instead...as mentioned....I am cancelled on for seeing movies and if I disappeared....well, I'm not sure anyone would even realize I was missing.

Still, I am rather enchanted with the Carrie persona. She is, after all, a FREELANCE writer. I watch the show and suddenly I want to move to New York and buy Manolo Blahnik shoes and Louis Vutton handbags. The kicker is, my day-to-day wardrobe is typically a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt. And yet....somehow....Carrie still makes us believe....even after all these years....

Monday's meanderings and muses

2010-11-29T07:21:00.001-08:00

So....did you survive Thanksgiving? I think I need to do some extra walking today to make-up for some...shall we say... food indiscretions.

This actually turned out to be the first time in about six years that I was off the entire weekend. Last year at this time, I was still doing pet sits even though I was contemplating shutting down the pet sitting business.

Believe it or not - the hubby actually WAS serious about me going with him to the MIL's house. I couldn't believe it. I told him that he should go and spend as much time with her as he wanted and I would just stay home and enjoy the rest of the evening off. Did that work? Nope, he sat in his chair and pouted for about 30 minutes. I finally gave in (I'm an idiot) and agreed to go with him.

I literally sat on her couch for about two hours and screamed on the inside while attempting to be pleasant. It was HARD. Adding to the fun occasion - the woman has soaked her house in some g*d-awful cinnamon scented potpourri and I felt the beginnings of a migraine a short while after we sat down. I suspect the migraine was also a combination of being trapped like a rat in a snake cage, but in all seriousness, the potpourri had my right eye tearing up. Even the hubby somewhat admitted that it was a bit strong.

Anyway, once I got that event out of the way - the rest of the weekend went somewhat better. I am having a little trouble coming to terms with the fact that the hubby could be so selfish in what HE wants all the time that he doesn't seem to care about my feelings at all, but that is another blog post for another time....for now....it's Monday and it is time to get to work!

You want me to WHAT?!

2010-11-23T07:50:00.000-08:00

My husband lives in a healthy (unhealthy?) state of denial. He continues to believe that one day my mother-in-law (MIL a/k/a THE DRAGON QUEEN) and I will kiss, make-up, hold hands and sing a round of Kumbaya.

He is, of course, seriously delusional. He continues to think that she walks on water, birds flock to her to sing, and flowers burst into blooms spontaneously when she walks by. I, on the other hand - have summarized that beneath that innocent persona beats a black heart that just waits to pounce on the unsuspecting....particularly ME, her daughter-in-law.

Okay, she is probably not as bad as all that, BUT....she DOES have this nifty little trick of putting him in the middle and forcing the hubby to have to choose between me and her. And....guess what.....he chooses HER every time. Yep, I am a distant second to the devotion of his mother. It has caused numerous fights, almost broke up our marriage, and left bad feelings overall.

These bad feelings have a habit of coming to the surface during the holidays and this week looks to be no exception. He mentioned today that he planned to see his mother on Thanksgiving. Okay...no problem....I was expecting that. He can go THERE and I....will probably watch Sex and The City 2 on Directv.

Except....

He mentioned me going WITH him. Uh? What? He wants me to go WITH him??? Oh, no! H*ll no! Why would he even consider this??? I have nothing to say to the woman. In fact, we have done pretty good for the last couple of years by not talking to each other when we are forced to spend time together. Well....I don't talk or I try not to talk. She asks questions that I give one word answers to. I have "fight or flight" experience the whole time I am in her company. My heart actually races with me wanting to get away from her as quickly as possible. My hand wants to slap her face, my brain wants to explode with a tirade of exactly what I think about her and her little games, but since the hubby would never get over the fact that I offended his sainted mother --- I can't say anything. So....the "run away, run away" feelings surround me and almost suffocate me. When he finally mentions we can leave whatever event we are present at that involves her....I don't think my feet even touch the ground when I race to the car.

Anyway, my stomach is in a knot right now --- wondering if he was serious and will actually expect me there. I do not understand how he can have such little consideration for my feelings on the matter, other than as I said....I think he is still in denial.....for over 20+ years now.... :-(

Think he will ever figure it out?

Monday's meanderings and muses

2010-11-22T07:32:00.000-08:00

Remember several months ago when I told you about LA and how she unfriended me because I didn't think she needed to be trying to find a new boyfriend/husband while she was still married to the current one?

Well, I'm still unfriended on her Facebook page, but she has sent me a couple of emails to tell me how wonderful her life is going. She is moving to Mississippi today to be with her current love interest. The divorce papers have been signed, but she is still hitched until some time in December. She met this guy in June. They have been talking on the phone and "dating" here and there by her driving out there to be with him and him coming here to be with her.

I want to be happy for her - I do....but.....this is like the third guy she has been IN LOVE with THIS year. Love, as in "soul mates" and "forever after". Am I wrong to think that this current relationship with this guy is not going to last???

Adding to the mix, this guy has a 10 and 13 year old. She does not have children and has not wanted children. She "loves" them though....their "great." Uh-huh. This is someone who feels the world revolves around them. I realized that one day when I got finished having lunch with her and realized we had discussed all her problems, but she hadn't even asked how I was doing except at the end - when we were getting ready to leave.

Anyway, I'm happy I'm hearing from her again, but in an odd way I am relieved that I am not "friends" with her on Facebook. I just don't have the energy anymore to deal with her. It's like watching a train going down the track and you know the track is going to run out, but you have no way to stop the train.

Yeah...it's just...like that.

I wish I was one of THOSE people

2010-11-18T07:16:00.001-08:00

By now my sister-in-law has most likely not only finished her Christmas shopping, but has probably wrapped them and already started on the shopping for next year. She will have her Christmas tree out on Thanksgiving, her house decorated by the 26th and then she will start making cookies and candies and cheese balls for friends and neighbors.

I...meanwhile....will probably still be putting up Christmas decorations on Christmas Eve. I swear each year I will make cookies, but never quite get around to it and I've been known to send out Christmas cards on the day after Christmas.

So...my question is....how do some people have it so pulled together, while the rest of us struggle just to get through the whole day....let alone a full holiday season? Better yet, why can I not be like that? Do you have to be born that way or is it something you can somehow learn? If they gave a class on it....I'd be there.

The interesting thing is....the rest of the Hubby's family is NOT like that at all. On the few occasions that the oldest SIL has not been in charge of the festivities - the other family members flounder like fish that have ended up on the beach. Dinner may or may not be on a certain day, often it is announced with little preparation or planning and its never quite clear what we are doing or when we are doing it....right up to the point where it is happening.

This, of course, causes a tremendous amount of stress each year. For one thing, the middle SIL...she usually has to be the one that decides the when. So....if the event doesn't match your time or your plans....tough. The few time we (usually meaning ME and my pet sitting) have had a conflict --- she and the MIL have just gone on and had the outing without us. This doesn't seem to bother the hubby, but it always bothers me.

Anyway, where I was originally going with this.....today the oldest SIL is probably working on her Christmas cards (if she didn't already do that in July) and here.....well, if I get half a chance - I'm going to get the clingy Halloween bats off the back door and maybe try to put up the Thanksgiving ones....or....if not....maybe I'll put little Santa hats on them and leave them up through Christmas...

Yep, I wish I was one of THOSE people....but as you can tell....I'm not....

Where am I going with this?

2010-11-12T06:35:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough couple of weeks since my last post. Quite a few things going on in the personal life that I'm not quite ready to "put out" there on the wide world of the Internet, but let's just say I was wondering yesterday if I may actually qualify as "depressed" at this point and decided the answer was probably, YES.

But....I'll have to go into all of the another time, because the thing that is on my mind today is my career, or rather....my lack thereof.

I'm writing. I LOVE it. The problem is, I'm not bringing in the kind of money I need to be and this past week....well, the hubby has decided he should remind me of this on an almost daily basis. I've tried to explain that it is NOT helping, but that doesn't seem to be doing any good. "How many articles did you do today?" is his standard question this week and since I have yet to meet my daily goal - he then feels it is his duty to point out my failure and mention that I could make more with a "real job", which is another matter onto itself.

I realized yesterday that I really don't know where I am going with the writing. There is no long-term plan. I do know that I don't want to be churning out 400-500 word articles for the next 10 to 20 years. Well, that would be okay...if I were choosing the subject matter, but let's face it - writing articles with titles, such as "How to raise red worms in Florida" and "How to bleach well water" aren't exactly Pulitzer prize winning material. It's a paycheck and I'm settling for it.

So, what exactly do I want to be doing? I can honestly say....I DON'T KNOW. I once thought that I wanted to write novels and I think I still do, but the encouragement for that has been zip, zero, zilch, nadda and every time I sit down to try, I feel like I should be doing something else. (Did I mention I think I'm depressed?)

Anyway, I don't really know where I was going with all this, other than to say that I need a plan. A "this is who I am and where I am going" plan. A "get off my case and stop telling me to get a real job" plan. I think I will take some time this weekend to try to sort it out. After all, I don't think you can get where you're going if you don't know where that is....

Thinking back to Ireland - 2000

2010-10-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

10 years ago this week my husband and I were in Ireland. I hadn't really thought much about the trip, but I ran across some photos while I was looking for something the other day and realized it was right around this time of year that we were there.

It was actually suppose to be a trip to Hawaii that year. We were going there to celebrate the millennium. The plan was to be standing on a beach in Hawaii with a glass of champagne in hand as the clock struck midnight.

Unfortunately, the hubby got a sinus infection and the entire trip was cancelled. I had been planning that trip for over five years. Needless to say I was devastated.

Thankfully, we had bought travel insurance and since that trip was off, we decided to go to Ireland in the fall. The day we were suppose to leave...the hubby thought he might be coming down with something AGAIN. I think he knew he better get over it real quick or I would be on the plane without him - by that time I had started to realize that it was more about his nerves and flying than sinuses and colds.

Anyway, this photo is of Bunratty castle. We arrived in Ireland early in the morning and when we got to our hotel - it was right next door. Our room wasn't ready, so we actually ended up touring the castle within our first few hours of being in Ireland. It was rather interesting going up and down all these stairs in the castle....on almost no sleep.

If I had thought about it earlier - I could have highlighted the trip on this blog by reading my travel journal and posting comments on here from each day that we were there, but I didn't think about it - so I'm thinking over the next few days I will give you a condensed version of the trip and post a few photos that were with the one I'm using today. If...that is....I can find my travel journal....oy!

Full Moons and Werewolves...oh my!

2010-10-22T21:48:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine is a paranormal investigator (a/k/a Ghost Hunter). Tonight she is suppose to be out on an investigation looking for Big Foot....or....maybe a....werewolf.

As far-fetched as this idea is - last month during the full moon, they were investigating out on some farmland and heard something attack some of the livestock. According to my friend, the noises were not like anything anyone had ever heard before and although they tried to take photos - they were too far away.

So....tonight is a return performance. Well, the hunters are returning....who knows what the werewolf has in mind.

Burning the candle at both ends

2010-10-14T14:53:00.000-07:00

I need a day off. Not just a day off from work, but a real day off. A day in which I don't have to do anything for anyone and nothing is expected of me.

I have been burning the candle at both ends and I think the ends are very close to meeting up in the middle.

I was contemplating taking Saturday off, but my father has already asked me (twice now) if we are coming over to work on getting the stuff out of the workshop. Did I tell you about that? Several years ago we moved some stuff from our convenience stores into my Dad's workshop. My parents are now trying to get the house ready to sell, however, and the stuff has to go somewhere else.

Since it is mainly old paperwork - this...involves a large green dumpster. Said dumpster is sitting this very moment on the parking pad in front of our house. Fortunately, the leaves are still on the trees and you can't see this ugly thing from the road. It is slightly bigger than my car!

Anyway, I know he wants the stuff out of there. I also know my husband wants me to reclaim the living room and a couple of other rooms that have become overcrowded with things I intend to sell on eBay.

I GET that.

The thing that no one here seems to get about me, however, is that I am dead tired. I am burnt-out and I am exhausted. I'm tired of being on every one's timetable but my own. I can somewhat half get my father to understand this...sometimes....but then the next day he hints again that the stuff in the workshop has to go. It's like the first conversation never even took place.

The husband is a different matter. He decided a couple of weeks ago that I'm not moving fast enough to suit him (we had a big argument about this over the summer and I agreed I would relocate the stuff either by getting it listed, tossing it or donating it. Each weekend you can tell he is waiting to see if I'm going to do anything towards decluttering some of this stuff. My sanity and the general housework be d*mned, the stuff needs to GO.

I was able to juggle these two balls for a while along with everything else, but now there are other balls in the air too and I know it is just a matter of time before I drop one...or two...or all of them.

Meanwhile, my father brought up working at the workshop again last night and there are some days you can literally cut the tension in the air when the hubby thinks I'm not getting enough done. Put this with one or two other things I have going on and I am on handkerchief away from going on a crying jag that will probably get me admitted to the psych ward or a hospital.

I have no clue what to do about all of this. No one here is listening to me and combine this with about a week of almost no sleep and I've had it. If I don't do anything else, I'm going to try to sit somewhere quietly on Saturday for about an hour and see if I can just "think". We'll see....

AOL 9.5 - sometimes change is NOT good

2010-10-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend my computer went crazy and "lost" my version of AOL 9.0. Now, I know that many people do not like AOL, but I've been with them from almost the very beginning (I tried Prodigy, but didn't care for it). I will admit that they do things that drive me crazy, but for the most part I like their set-up and if they change something I usually accept it and go right on with things.

Unfortunately, the latest change to 9.5 has been rather maddening. I though that I would like the fact that they have a browser window thingy that allows all your tabs to be open in one place, but so far...on my first official day of using it - the thing is just getting on my nerves. Click on the wrong one and you open the wrong window. "X" one and you may accidentally close a window you didn't mean to. It has made for a slooowwww go today.

Anyway, I guess I will eventually adjust, but so far - I just don't care for it. We we just have to see.....

Contemplating...contemplating....

2010-10-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

It's not going particularly well here. Lots of personal stuff that I need to sort out and I should take some time off and just THINK about what I want, but instead I've got articles that need to be written and errands that I have to take care of and....well, the whole thing is overwhelming me today.

I'm contemplating selling on eBay again. In fact, I listed something today - a Halloween coffee mug. There's too much stuff around here that needs to go somewhere. I was going to donate it, but now I'm wondering if I should try to sell it instead.

In other words....I have no clue what I'm doing. I am suppose to be writing full-time, but the main company I work for keeps having glitches and then I got this horrid rewrite request and when I looked at it today - something just snapped and I thought "I can't do this". So....I've wandered around on the Internet - listed an item on eBay and now have my iguana soaking in the bathtub (she was overdo for her bath).

I'm going to take a shower and run my errands and then maybe sit quietly for a while and see if I can figure out what exactly I want to do. I love writing, but with the personal stuff going on - my focus is shot and it takes me twice as long to write as it should.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. Maybe next time I post - I will have some clarity to add.

Did I Mention that I Love Fall?

2010-10-04T10:08:00.000-07:00

The air was so cool and crisp this morning and now as I sit here staring out the window the sun is out and there appears to be a breeze.

Needless to say I'm having trouble concentrating on the writing - I want to go for a walk or work in the garden. I want to get the beds ready for winter and sweep the leaves off the back deck.

Okay, I don't really want to do that last one....I would like to be outside, however, it is just too nice out there to be indoors!

Anyway, this photo was taken by me. I'm not sure what the plant is. The seeds have dried on it and I thought it was kind of interesting. I hope to get out this week and take some fall photos (another thing for my "want to do" list along with getting the Halloween directions out!

Happy October!

2010-10-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

The weather has finally caught up with the actual month and it is beginning to feel like fall. October is my favorite month of the year. I eagerly anticipate all the decorating I will do for Halloween, the cookies I will make, the festivals I will go to....

In the end, however, I rarely accomplish all of this, but it is fun to think about and plan. ONE DAY I WILL have the house completely decorated for Halloween. I'm thinking orange icicle lights, black garland and dancing ghosts (that I will make ) for the yard.

What about you? Do you love Halloween and October or are you more of a spring and summer or winter person?

Look, Nanook - wet stuff fall from sky

2010-09-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

Rain! Glorious rain! After about a month of no rain we finally got some yesterday and for once - there was no complaining about the downpours by me.

My poor anise bushes were looking pitifully wilted. I had been attempting to water them, but just couldn't get the job done properly with a water hose and spray nozzle.

Thankfully, they seem to have responded to yesterday's soaking and as I look out the window this morning - appear much, much happier.

First day of fall

2010-09-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

Fall is finally here, but you can't tell it if you're in Georgia. We still have weather in the 90's!

I love fall though, it is my favorite time of year. The air smells better, there is a feeling of change as the earth prepares to sleep. I also begin to anticipate Halloween.

I like Thanksgiving and Christmas, of course, but I find a lot of stress associated with those two holidays. For one, they almost always involve my mother-in-law and an inevitable argument with the hubby about her. My stomach starts to form a knot right around the first of November and stays there until mid-week in January.

Fall and Halloween, however, are MY time. I love decorating the house, the crisp feel to the air and hunting for pumpkins. I dream of apple cider by the fireplace (although I've yet to do that since we moved into this house!) and make plans to bake Halloween shaped cookies (yet never seem to find the time). Still, there is always the possibility. THAT is the part of fall that I live for!

Today, though - it does not feel like Fall. The air is humid and the sun is bright and shining and the weather reminds me of August. My house is not ready for decorations and I'm kind of thankful I have several more days of September to try to get things in order.

What about you? Do you love fall or are you a spring and summer type? I enjoy winter as well, but can't take the cold the way I use to. Don't even get me started about snow. I use to love it, now...not so much!

Writing, Blogs and Life

2010-09-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

It's been kind of rough the last few weeks around here. Trying to get my daily schedule more organized and it seems like life keeps getting in the way. I've been seriously contemplating working more at night. I think it would suit me better, but when I mention it...well, the family doesn't seem too fond of the idea.

Anyway, I started a tv review blog - which is suppose to be an offshoot of this, but then I got the bright idea to post the reviews on Associated Content. Today's review is about Hawaii Five-0. I'm still finding my "Reviewer" voice, but let me know what you think!

Photo Challenge

2010-09-15T16:31:00.000-07:00

I'm participating in two photo challenges this month. One is with a friend of mine (and I will tell you more about that one another time) and the other one is with my gang over at the DSR of Our Lives blog.

I really enjoy photography and I'm hoping this will get me back into the swing of things. Doing a photo challenge forces you to look at the world with a new perspective. If done correctly - it improves how you look at things and forces you to find the beauty in something - even if it at first seems like the most mundane object you've ever seen.

Remembering 9-11

2010-09-11T15:26:00.001-07:00

It's been a thoughtful day for me today and one for remembering. When I got up this morning, the weather was just about the same as it was nine years ago.

Nine years ago, however, I was on my way to becoming a commercial pilot. I actually had a lesson planned for that day and was getting ready to go to it when a friend of mine called and asked if I had the television on. She use to live in New York and we had actually met years earlier online when we were both starting out as student pilots. The irony of two pilots discussing a plane (the second one hadn't hit yet) flying in a building was not lost on us. She was certain that it hadn't been a small plane, there was just no way...and...she was right.

I ended up going to the flight lesson, which turned in to a ground session because by the time I got there - planes were being told to land. I had gone to my lesson despite the uncertainty of it all because I just couldn't stand the idea of working in our convenience store all day, while so much chaos was going on around us. Better to have my mind concentrating on one task, instead of wondering exactly what was going on.

In the end - despite continued lessons once planes were back in the air -I didn't end up completing my Commercial ticket. I am a Private Pilot and have an Instrument rating, but about seven months later - the airline industry was hanging on by a thread and my life was moving on in a completely different direction.

Strangely, several other pilots that I was friends with at the flight school were also on the airline fast track -and now no longer fly either. One is studying Chinese medicine, one opened a flight school of her own and I've lost contact with the third. 9-11 changed so many of our paths. A small connection to a tragic event.

Can we say STRESS?

2010-08-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

I've had a lot of personal drama going on lately. You may have realized this already since you haven't seen me on here in a while. The thing is - I'm never sure how much of myself to put out there. Do you really want to know why I'm having such a crappy week or why I'm having a bout of insomnia and only sleeping a few hours each night? Should blog posts always be happy and uplifting or is it okay to post how frustrated you are and why you would like to run away to Aruba and open a postcard shop?

I told someone the other day that it feels like a giant thumb is coming down on top of me. Lots of stress and it coming from every angle. I may share all the going ons with you at some point, but for now - you may find my postings on here somewhat erratic until things settle down. I may also take this blog in a new direction - haven't decided yet. Too many balls in the air and I don't have enough hands to catch them all.

Lights...cameras....FOOTLOOSE casting call!

2010-08-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

I discovered yesterday that the remake of Footloose is going to be partially filmed in Hiram, Georgia - which is in the county that I live!

Dennis Quaid is in the remake. I LOVE Dennis Quaid!!!!!

Anyway, they are having a casting call on Saturday. I'm 99% ready to go to it, but I've been down this road twice before and dealing with people from Hollywood left a bad taste in my mouth.

Not the STARS mind you, but the directors, camera crews and the various production staffs. Well, some of them hit me the wrong way....I should back this up and say... that I also met some VERY nice people. It's just the ones that had the "attitude" that have stayed etched in my mind all these years.

Anyway, both brushes with fame and fortune were brief and fleeting. Two long stories that will have to keep for another time. Right now the question is....do I go to the casting call or not?

Took A Mental Health Day!

2010-08-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

Remember back at the end of last month when I mentioned that I had scheduled two Mental Health Days for August? Well, yesterday was the first scheduled one and boy did I need it! (See Rambo Kitty to the left!)

Unfortunately, it didn't go quite as I planned. I had to run a couple of necessary errands thus thwarting my plans for becoming a couch potato for the day, but I did take a little time yesterday morning to try to regroup and do some thinking.

I have come to the conclusion either I am trying to do waaaayyyyy too much or I am just so completely unorganized I don't know which way is up. Probably, I decided, a little of both.

Anyway, today it's back to the grindstone - articles to write, things to do around the house and I hope to take a little time this afternoon and do some more brainstorming. I feel more focused if nothing else. Now...just need to keep everything else together!

Duty, Obligation and Finding Yourself...Part Two

2010-08-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been a perfect example of the "duty and obligation" I mentioned a couple of weeks ago.

I am stressed to the point where I feel my immune system is compromised. I awoke this morning with a sore throat, after spending a restless night of almost no sleep. I think this has to do with the fact that I have somehow once again found myself trying to do everything and please everybody and the harder I try, the more things fall through the cracks.

I had finally got my writing schedule worked out and then last week I discovered that we were suppose to meet with the CPA on Tuesday instead of on Thursday. This pushed my work schedule right out the window. On Wednesday, my sister-in-law had a birthday luncheon. Since she was working that day, I assumed I would lose about an hour, but we were there almost three hours. This also put me in the proximity of the monster-in-law, but thankfully we weren't sitting near each other, so she didn't keep trying to talk to me (I don't like her - she doesn't like me, but she tries to get me to communicate with her - like we are playing some kind of silly little game).

Thursday and Friday were somewhat better, but on Saturday we spent the afternoon cleaning out the workshop at my parent's house. More on this another time, but let's just say that by Sunday I was exhausted.

This week, I have been trying to get things back on schedule, but it hasn't quite worked. It's been a frustrating week of trying to get things back on track, plus I am doing a courtesy sit for a former client (meaning - she can't find anyone to do it and I couldn't bring myself to say no), plus we are suppose to be tossing and sorting in the workshop again.

And...here I sit with my sore throat and no sleep....

All of which leads me back to the duty and obligation part. At what point do you get to say NO? Say NO to your CPA and the IRS will be at your door. Say NO to your sister-in-law and you can expect some hard feelings at the next family get-together. The stuff in the workshop - well, a lot of it is mine - I can't blame my parents for wanting it out of there. In the meantime, however, my husband doesn't understand why my income level isn't where it should be, my house looks like a tornado ran through it and I have articles due today. I know it's not just me that feels exhausted and that their world is out-of-control. I've talked to other women (and they have kids!!!) that have more difficult lives than I do. We all agree that we need to take better care of ourselves, make time for ourselves and do things for ourselves, but so few do it.

And in the end...I have no good answer for this. I am so tired right now - I can't think straight. I'm not even entirely sure where I was going with this....other than....somehow, someway....I'm going to have to find a way back to myself, but for now....I have no clue how I am going to do it.

Duty...but not quite yet

2010-08-01T09:13:00.001-07:00

My next post on here was going to be about "duty", but my husband has this annoying little habit in which he likes to read things out loud to me that he feels I should know about or be interested in. I try to be the good little wife and sit quietly and listen, but truth be known - I can't stand having anyone read something out loud to me and never have.

For one thing, I can read it much, much faster by myself. I use to get several pages ahead when I was in school - bored out of my mind at the slow pace of the teacher who wanted to make sure the whole class could keep up.

Second, bless his heart - he then wants to discuss what he has just read to me. Do I have an opinion? Did it touch my soul? Seriously? NOT first thing in the morning. Maybe one day he will understand that when I say I am not fully awake - I actually mean it. It takes me a good hour to become mentally alert when I first get up. I like to spend this time quietly and contemplate my day - philosophical discussions are for the evening after a long day when you sit and the table and discuss life over a bottle of wine, split a loaf of bread and maybe try some melted goat cheese.

Anyway, on the subject of duty - I've never told him how much this irritates me because he seems to need to do this. Wants someone to listen to him or needs to share information with someone. It was not exactly what I was going to write about when I mentioned duty (I will write that one - hopefully this coming week...), but I guess it shows we have different levels of duty in our lives. Or...rather....we seem to think we do. Maybe it's really not my duty to have to sit there and endure two pages of Napoleon Hill being read to me on a Sunday, but if I want my marriage to work - there is a duty to keep things agreeable, so there you have it.

How about you? Do you endure certain things to keep the peace in the family? Sunday football games or eating a meal you don't really like just because it pleases the other person to make it? What duties do you have in your life?

Duty, obligation and finding yourself - Part One

2010-07-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

A couple of things happened last week. First, I had a 3-day migraine (thus my disappearance) that I think was caused by a combination of stress, hormones, and the weather. Second, I picked up a copy of Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I guess the commercials about the upcoming movie with Julia Roberts won me over because until I saw the ads for it on television - I had never even given this book a second thought.

The book has managed to strike quite a cord with me though. I wouldn't say I'm ready to leave my husband and go live in three countries for a year, but if I did I would probably pick Scotland, New Zealand and Ireland.

I guess it's the author's comments about duty (duty to our families, jobs, etc.) that has really had me thinking some things over the last few days. I don't know if it is this book that got it started, but a lot of women I have been talking to lately have commented about the same thing. One day - you "wake up" and realize that while you have been running around trying to make everyone else happy, you've lost touch with yourself. In the book Gilbert says, she was forced to ask "what do I want". Someone asked me this question repeatedly several years ago and at the time the only answer I had was that I wanted them to stop asking me that question.

The past few day, however, I have realized that what I really want is to have my life back. Somewhere between owning convenience stores, dealing with my husband's quest to become a real estate investor and having my own pet sitting business, I think I kind of lost myself. So, this week I have been asking myself what exactly DO I want?

I'm still searching for the complete answer, but here are a few things I have decided that I want.

I want to take two "Mental Health" days off next month. On these two days I will do anything that I want whether that is reading, painting, gardening, or just sitting on the couch and catching up on some tv shows I've been recording.
I want to get my writing career established. I think my family has been treating it like a hobby, so I haven't been taking it seriously either.
I want to take better care of myself. This one encompasses several things. I want to do what is best for me, whether it is exercising every day, meditating, eating better or putting boundaries in place where I can say NO without feeling guilty about it.

What about you? What do you want? Are you taking steps to do what you need to do or are you still honoring the duties you've taken on for others? Where does your obligation to friends and family end and an obligation to self begin?

Just a few things to ponder until next time...

Even My Bookmarks Are Cluttered

2010-07-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Several months ago I started sharing links to sites that I thought were interesting. I had planned to do that today, but it has been a while since I looked at any of my "Favorites" and as I looked through them, not only did I discover that I had a lot of "Favorites", but also a lot of the sites are no longer working.

As I checked on some of the sites, I realized that in line with everything else - my bookmarked favorites are a cluttered mess. I have a hodgepodge of sites saved. If I found it interesting, it got put there...awaiting for me to return to further explore. Only...I never got around to it. Just more clutter, the same way I have my house, car, basically my life.

I start projects and then lose interest, or rather...usually I don't have time for them anymore. I love to knit, but rarely do it. I have paint supplies that haven't seen the light of day in years. Books on photography await me. Sometimes, I think my whole life is on "hold", waiting for me to find time to live it.

Anyway, more on that another time, but I did finally find a website that I think it pretty neat. It's called Christmas Wonders. It's a site dedicated to those types of houses you see at Christmas where the people have put up way too many lights and even synchronized the lights to music. Did I mention that having a lot of Christmas lights that dance to music is on my "to do" list too?

Thankfully, I haven't started buying a bunch of lights (yet) or they would be cluttering up the shed. One day...though...yep, one day.....

It's Monday AGAIN!

2010-07-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

Amazing how Monday comes around once a week.

I'm having trouble getting started this morning. I used Astepro nose spray last night and for me, it's the next best thing to Ambien. And...not in a good way. This morning...I am...the...walking...dead.

I actually thought it might help me sleep...it usually does. But this go around, it just kept my nose open and it was another somewhat sleepless night. I go to sleep. Wake up. Go to sleep. Wake up. Sleep. Wake....and so it goes until the alarm clock goes off. At that point...I am...of course...sound asleep. :-(

Small Life Defining Moment - Number 7

2010-07-17T08:21:00.001-07:00

A few years ago I read a book that talked about how there are life defining moments in our lives that make us who we are. There are big moments, marriage, divorce, death, losing a job, etc., etc., and little moments, first bike ride, first kiss, first heartbreak, or even simply losing a friend.

On this date several years ago, there is a moment in time that I have never completely gotten over. We had a dog named Bear and she was having her second surgery because the vet thought her cancer had spread. I had dropped her off, but didn't feel I could go home and wait, so I shopped for a little while and then decided I would stop for a few minutes and see a friend of mine that I had gone to high school with.

Even though she was working, I had an actual purpose for this. I had called her earlier in the month to see if she wanted to attend a wedding with me. It was for a mutual friend that we had both gone to school with and since the hubby doesn't like going to those kinds of things, I thought she might want to go. But...I hadn't heard back from her. She had told me that she would have to see if she was scheduled to work that day before she would know if she could go.

I went to the department at the place where she worked and, of course, there was a "gate keeper" that I had to give my name to. I told her who I was and that I just needed to see my friend for a few minutes that I needed to ask her about something and it was important. The gate keeper disappeared, but returned a few moments later and said that my friend "didn't have time to talk to me right now, but said she would call you later".

It is now 2010 and she never did call me "later". A couple of years after that - I DID hear from her, but she was wanting me to do something for her. We bump into each other from time to time, she is oblivious that she hurt me and that she forgot to call me. I am always tempted to tell her what happened that day, but never do.

Each year as this date comes and goes, however, I stupidly go back to that moment in time. I needed to see this person for FIVE minutes, but she couldn't be bothered. I realize she didn't know about my dog, but after all these years it makes me realize how even our smallest actions can have a huge impact on others.

I like to think that this little event has somehow made me a better person. I am "over it"(okay...maybe not 100%, but I'm close), but I still make it a point each year at this time to remind myself to be kinder, listen better, return my phone calls, and not take people for granted.

In the end, Bear didn't make it. I regret that I didn't get to officially tell her goodbye. There were pets and kisses and "I love you" as we dropped her off, but the vet thought the surgery would be minor and it wasn't. The cancer had spread too far. She never even woke up. He thought that was best that she didn't and broken-hearted, I agreed.

Two single moments interwoven into one horrible day. A reminder to myself to ask what action have you taken that no matter how small may have made someones day better or infinitely worse? Small Life Defining Moment - Number 7.

Challenge 3: Store Brand versus The Good Stuff

2010-07-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

Special K Red Berries versus Food Lion Red Berries

First, although I haven't done a review of it - I was kind of leery about trying another flake type of cereal after experiencing Kroger's version of Raisin Bran. I'm not the fussiest eater, but if I'm going to have Raisin Bran, I want the box with the smiling sun on it. It's Post Raisin Bran all the way for me, Baby. My husband learned this the hard way after picking up a box of Kellogg's Raisin Bran.

Still, it was kind of hard to resist when Food Lion had their version of Special K for $1.99 and the regular version was over the $3.00 mark.

Although some of the cereal flakes seem overly large (what's up with that anyway?), I have to admit the berries were okay. I should probably start keeping the boxes or at least writing down the nutrition information so I can tell you how all that compares, but my main objective here is to tell you whether the product is similar to its more expensive, name brand counterpart and whether its a smart buy.

With Food Lion Red Berries, I would have to say ---- YES. If the two sit side-by-side and Special K is not on sale, I will get the Food Lion store brand. Soooo.....for Food Lion Red Berries....a big thumbs up!

TV Review: The Glades

2010-07-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

Starring Matt Passmore, Kiele Sanchez, Carlos Gomez, and Michelle Hurd

Homicide detective Jim Longworth joins the Palm Glade, Florida, police force from Chicago to seek a less hectic life but soon discovers there's no escaping cases.

Since I couldn't think of anything better to write about today, I thought I would go ahead and get my review for the A&E show The Glades done. I'm very undecided about this one or on the fence as you might say. Where I think Passmore was sort of going for a Tom Selleck, David Caruso kind of vibe, he just didn't quite carry it off. I wasn't bored with this show, but I didn't feel the energy that some of the other shows I've been watching have had. I can't really decide whether I care about these characters or not.

I decided after three nights of new TV shows that the way the information is relayed to us seems to make a big difference as to how well we can relate to the characters. Here, we know Jim got fired from his job in Chicago. They hint that he got a lot of money and that he got shot. The writers leave it kind of vague and while we feel we should connect with this character, several unanswered questions stay out there and keep us disconcerted.

How long has he been with his current partner?

Did he just move to Florida?

If he has that much money - why is he working in homicide instead of as a private investigator (if he does want to work)?

Anyway, I haven't ruled this one out, but I didn't get the comfortable vibe that I got when, say...I saw the first episode of In Plain Sight. Mary is smart-talking, but still likeable. At time with Jim, however, his wisecracks just got on my nerves and instead of there being a method to his madness, he just (at times) seemed like kind of a jerk.

I'm in the minority with this one, folks, most of the reviews I've read rather liked it and considered it quirky. I guess we'll just have to see if the show can live up to that kind of potential.

TV Review: Covert Affairs

2010-07-14T07:47:00.001-07:00

Season 1, Episode 1: Original Air Date—13 July 2010Annie Walker is removed from the CIA training school and thrust into the inner sanctum of the Agency for what appears to be their need of her exceptional linguistic skills, but there may be something or someone from her past that her CIA bosses are really after. At the agency, she meets Auggie Anderson, a CIA military intelligence agent, blinded while on assignment, who quickly becomes her friend and confidant; Arthur Campbell, the CIA’s formidable director of Clandestine Services; and her new boss Joan, who happens to be married to Arthur. Annie meanwhile lives with her older sister Danielle, a married mother of two, whom she keeps a very large secret. (from IMDb.com)

I wasn't planning on doing another TV review today, but since USA and TNT are rolling out the new shows, I guess I will go with the flow. I couldn't help but compare this show to Rizzoli and Isles, even though I know the two have nothing in common other than they both have females playing the leads, and they are both new shows. Where I found Rizzoli and Isles so busy that I had trouble remembering who all the new characters were (see my review from yesterday), however, Covert Affairs kept it simple and by the end of the show I knew who was who and what was what.

There was, of course, a little bit of...."what show is that woman from (Joan)?" and..."That's the guy that was in While You Were Sleeping" (Peter Gallagher) when it first started. Joan - btw -in case you want to know, was on a science fiction show called Invasion.

So, on to the review. Covert Affairs. I liked it! Sure, there were some spy cliches, but the first episode set us up with what we needed to know and I think next weeks episode will be sharper now that we got all that back-story stuff out of the way. We know that Annie (Piper Perabo) got her heart broken by a mysterious stranger after a three-week affair. We learned that Auggie was blinded during a mission and Joan is the hard-nosed boss, but is also insecure and thinks her husband (the Director) is having an affair.

We got to meet Annie's sister (instead of a meddling mother - "Burn Notice") and Annie's old teacher. There was even another agent who kept flirting with Annie. (His character didn't seem to mesh with the others and I got the feeling the writers couldn't decide whether to make him annoying and lovable, or annoying and a jerk). Personally, I think if they can't decide by next weeks show, they should just send him on a long-tem CIA mission and just write him out of future episodes...

Anyway, yes - this show will remind you of Alias (Alias-lite?), but it will also remind you of In Plain Sight, another one of USA's shows and I don't think that is a bad thing. Annie and Augie are likable. Joan and her problems are a nice side-story and I see a lot of potential with Annie's sister. Since USA likes to show their "character " shows numerous times over the week, if you didn't see the pilot episode of Covert Affair last night, you still have time to catch up before next week.

TV Review: Rizzoli and Isles

2010-07-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

If you're watching television this summer I hope you like police and CIA dramas because unless you're watching the NCIS non-stop marathon (also a cop show if you think about it) that's about all you're going to get.

Okay, that's not exactly true, I am watching Hell's Kitchen (although I notice it's not on tonight) and I'm sure some of you are enjoying the Batchelorette.

Last night, however, it was back to police drama on TNT with The Closer and then a new show called Rizzoli and Isles. This show starts Angie Harmon as Rizzoli and Sasha Alexander as Isles. Rizzoli is the tough homicide detective and Isles is the fashion-conscious, glamorous Medical Examiner.

I liked this show, but first had to get over the similarity between it and Angie Harmon's other cop show, The Women's Murder Club. Maybe it would have helped if they changed her hair style and wardrobe?

Anyway, the show begins with Rizzoli and a man (her brother) playing basketball. We are shown right away that Rizzoli is tough. She breaks her nose and still wants to play, but her brother decides they better get her cleaned up. Inside the house we discover that Lorraine Bracco is Rizzoli's Mom. (Nice touch!)

Rizzoli gets a phone call and has to leave, but not before we realize that her mother and Michael Westin's mother on Burn Notice might be related...(lovable, but interferring Mom's who know what their children do, but don't like it)

At the crime scene we are introduced to Isles. My first thought was that these two weren't going to be the type that got along, but they turned out to be best buds with different clothing styles. Rizzoli goes for the comfortable look and Isles wears designer clothes, even during autopsies.

The plot, if you're interested in what actually happened, was about a copycat killer that is following the style of a man named Hoyt that Rizzoli put away several years ago. I should do some due dilegence here and tell you who the actor is, but I need to get this finished, so let's just say he played a demon on Charmed and I think he has played a few bad guys on a couple of episodes of Law and Order and some other bad guys on some other shows too. (You'll know him when you see him). He escapes from prison, of course, and has unfinished business with Rizzoli.

Some other stuff happens, Rizzoli's mom shows up to stay with her and Rizzoli escapes from her and goes to Isle's house. We find out that Isles has a pet tortoise (that won me over! Very nice touch!) and that they both like the same guy...and I would tell you this actor's name, but I don't know it and don't see it on the cast list...but...he's HOT!

In the end, they get the bad guy (but not before Rizzoli is kidnapped), Rizzoli gets banged up some more and in the end I'm intrigued enough with the characters to watch this show again next week --- if only to (hopefully) get to see more of the tortoise (and the HOT guy!).

Getting ready for Monday

2010-07-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

This past week I started my new schedule for writing. While some things worked, others did not and today I am reevaluating what went right and what went wrong.

I got offtrack on Monday because the hubby was off from work due to an extended holiday weekend. We had a few errands to run and lunch to get and...well, I just didn't accomplish as much as I planned.

Tuesday went a little better, but I had to end early to go grocery shopping since we hadn't gone on our usual day of Sunday. Wednesday I worked on a project for one of my clients and while it was a productive day - I was having a bit of a learning curve and didn't get as many articles done as I had hoped. Thursday, I had to stop and go to Carrollton for dog food. Friday, turned out to be the best and most productive day, but still I only got three articles done and I'm trying to do an average of six.

Anyway, it is very easy to see that outside distractions got the better of me on most of the days. I failed to plan for some errands that had to be done and it interrupted with my work time. This, of course, is a common pitfall for the self-employed and if you are a WAH type - then it can become even worse when there is a house to clean and dinner to fix and....well, you get the picture.

To help with the coming week - I worked part of the day yesterday. I am also writing out my schedule today for tomorrow and will "tweak" each day until I find something that will work for me.

In turn, you may not see me much next week, but I will report in and let you know how it's going.

Until then.

Oops...I did it again...

2010-07-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

I was waiting on a phone call this morning and when I saw an unknown number, I assumed it must be them.

Instead it was a woman from the Theater On The Square in Marietta. It's time to buy season tickets again. The problem is...I really WOULD like to buy season tickets. Knowing you have a standing date ever so often to go see a play sounds wonderful. The problem is...not only is it not in the budget, but some of the plays....well, let's just say they are not my thing. I could probably sit through them, but I don't think the hubby would have the patience for it.

All that being said...if you want to see a play. I highly recommend this place. We've seen quite a few shows there over the years and I've enjoyed them all. The hubby has enjoyed all but one...last years performance of The Woman In Black...it left him a bit confused....too much time jumping between past and present and with two men playing almost all the characters, he was having a bit of a time keeping up with it all. There was actually several comments about this from other patrons as we left, so I guess it wasn't just him that had this problem.

Anyway, now I have to avoid answering the phone when I don't recognize the number - because this woman is suppose to be calling me back in a few weeks. When that happens...she will be going for the "hard sell". I know we can't afford it right now....but it is hard to avoid the lure of the theater and...the husband DID just get paid....hhmmmmm.....

Just shoot me now...

2010-07-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

The hubby is home today and making me nervous. I am suppose to be starting my new writing schedule, but instead I feel like I have to keep checking to see what he is doing.

We got a dumpster on Saturday so we could get rid of some stuff both in the house and in the shed. I decided that I wouldn't watch what he threw away from the shed. I have the overwhelming desire to "rescue" things sometimes and I've been trying to tell myself - if it has been in the shed that long and you haven't used it....you are NOT going to. Still it's hard because I can't remember what is in the shed and keep wondering if there may be some lost treasure out there that I might actually want to keep.

Anyway, he went out a little bit ago - with the ominous quote that if it was too hot out there he would have to find something to do in here.

Just shoot me now, because once that happens - I will have to watch him like a hawk and whatever project he gets into - will undoubtedly drive me crazy. His cleaning style and mine don't mesh and he puts stuff where you can't possibly find it again. My stomach is clenching up in a knot - just thinking about this...

Hopefully, all will return to normal tomorrow when he goes back to work. Who's idea was it to close stuff down on Monday just because the 4th happened to be on a Sunday this year? It certainly wasn't mine!

Day 30: Limping to the finish line

2010-06-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it. Made it to day 30 of the 30-Day Blog Challenge!

I can honestly say - today's post is by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin....My Internet connection has been out almost the entire day! Carryover from whatever happened yesterday, I guess.

Anyway, it's been a heck of a ride. I've learned a lot and hopefully kept you entertained in the process. I may or may not post over the next couple of days --- as I mentioned - I need to regroup and rethink some things, but don't go away ---- I shall return!

Day 29: Things I have learned this month about blogging

2010-06-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the last day of the 30-day blog challenge. I don't think I succeeded with 150 words each time, but I did at least get something posted. I consider my participation in the challenge a success (well, unless I totally forget to do it tomorrow...which is always a possibility!).

Here are a few things I have learned that you might find to be interesting:

Accept that some days your writing will be flat and there is nothing you can do about it. We all have days like this.
There is always something to write about. Some days it will be brilliant - some days it will be about the fact that you need to do the laundry.
Just DO IT. There is no other way to get started.
Don't obsess about your followers. Some brilliant bloggers that I follow only have three or four people following them. I still look forward to seeing what they have to say each day!
There is a good chance that you will NOT be the next Julie Powell (Julie and Julia) - don't let this stop you from trying. You never know.

And there you have it. Things I have learned and my 29th day of blogging!

Until tomorrow....

Day 28: A Touch of the 4th

2010-06-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

I've had a thing for fireworks ever since I was little. Last night a church in Hiram hosted a fireworks display. These photos with taken with my cellphone. Not bad for a .99 cent iPhone App that has no flash!

Day 27: The End Is Near

2010-06-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

Can you believe that it is almost the end of Jeanette Cates 30-day challenge? Only three days to go if you're not counting today!

As mentioned when I first started this challenge (and I know I've brought it up two or three times now) - the main purpose of doing the 30-day challenge was to figure out the direction I wanted this blog to go in. I've had some nice comments about that and some tips about what to write about. It is comforting to know I'm not the only one that is still trying to figure out what their blog is suppose to be about.

I think it is much easier - when you start one and it is about a specific topic. You're getting married, losing weight, having a baby, going to college, talking about your job, or lack of finding one. It's much harder when you have a wide range of interests and everyday you have a lot on your mind, but it doesn't always transfer well to "paper" or the screen of a computer. (You should see my actual journal!....Or maybe it's better that you can't!).

Anyway, I finally decided today - this blog is just going to be my whimsical, sarcastic, world-weary, and yes...even cynical (though I deny being a cynic) look at the world. After all, when it gets down to it - we've all got a story to tell.

And this one is mine....

Day 26: Our Wedding Anniversary

2010-06-26T09:02:00.001-07:00

Today is our wedding anniversary. It's year 23 and as I am well on my way to getting my second "Generals Stripe". This is a joke that a friend and I have shared through the years - meaning that sometimes marriage is like a battle and when you see those little starry-eyed newlyweds (we refer to them as Privates) - they basically have NO CLUE.

A few years ago I picked up a client that was about to get married. After the wedding - I would still sit for them as they went on vacations, up to New York to visit family, etc., etc.. I would always get amused because they were still in the "leaving notes to each other" phase. That is where you post sticky-notes around the house saying "I love you" or "hope you have a good day at work". The house was spotless, they had really, really NICE stuff. The perfect couple.

Last year I sat for them around Christmas. They had an addition to the family - a baby boy. I was able to deduce this by the blue toys scattered around the house, the clean, but dropped pair of diapers on the floor, and - of course - the baby pictures that had taken the place of the happy married couple. I didn't see any mushy little sticky-notes, but in the family shots I did notice the parents look tired.

The point I am making is - marriage is a bumpy road. We go in with our false expectations of the fairy tell wedding and no one tells us that the "happily ever after" requires a LOT of work. The hubby and I have had a bumpy road the last couple of years. Career changes and money problems - not to mention the mother-in-law (that makes Cinderella's evil step-mother seem all fuzzy and warm), all of these have, at times, put a strain on our relationship.

Still, there is still no one else I would rather go through all of it with. For better or worse, in sickness and in health and despite my desire to sometimes smother him with a pillow while he's asleep (especially on those nights that he's snoring), I can't imagine being married to anyone else!

Day 25: Death of a friendship

2010-06-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

I haven't tried any store brand products to compare this week, so there is no Store Brand versus The Good Stuff challenge today. Instead, I'm contemplating losing a friend and while I think it is ultimately a good thing - I am pondering why her actions have been bothering me so much.

I was ceremoniously "unfriended" on Facebook last night. I know why she is mad at me, but I still haven't figured out why I am so upset with her. For those keeping up - this is the friend who is still married, but planning to get a divorce. They are not legally separated, but this hasn't stopped her from A) dating a married man B)seeing a guy name David who has a daughter name Davida C) making provocative statements on her Facebook page to a fireman that lives out in California D) joining an online dating site.

I tried nicely to explain to her that her actions weren't going to help her divorce settlement. I also tried to tell her that a gentlemen (her word - not mine) wouldn't want to date her while she was still married to someone else. She just kept going on about how God was okay with it and God was sending her a soul mate....

And...somewhere during one of her little diatribes about how the heart can't help it if it falls for someone and it isn't the right time - I got really mad about her attitude, but I don't know why. I don't consider myself overly religious. In fact, I sometimes joke if I ever walked into a church - I would probably burst into flames. I have issues with the Catholic church (was raised Catholic) and am suspicious of organized religion as a whole. So....why did all her comments about how God was okay with her sleeping around and flirting with guys on the Internet - irritate me so much???

I guess somewhere deep down - my thinking is --- if you're going to talk the talk - you gotta walk the walk. You don't go to church and bible study, quote bible scriptures and work on a prayer list and then turn around and see how quickly you can find a new boyfriend....when you've still got a husband. She will tell you that the marriage is over and has been for some time.
Her husband is in declining health, an amputee, and in a wheelchair. He was in bad health when she married him. She knew it wasn't going to be a picnic, but she said those vows and moved to Georgia with him. Last October, however, she started dating a married guy. He, of course, wouldn't leave his wife. She was devastated. I stood by her. We all make mistakes...

The problem is...the floodgate opened and after that, she has been running from one guy to the next, thinking this one will be her soul mate, quoting that God is helping her do this and meanwhile, she still lives under the same roof with her husband, whom appears to be quite heartbroken about the whole thing. And...I don't know why, but there is some part of me that just thinks this is wrong, wrong, wrong. So much so - that I have felt compelled to tell her this. Apparently, she doesn't want to listen - because as of last night I'm blocked from her Facebook page and she unfriended me.

The funny thing is - I'm relieved and sad. Sad that I lost a friend, but relieved that I don't have to watch her go down this destructive path she seems to be on. I'm finding it ironic that she is the religious one and I'm still on a spiritual path to enlightenment, and yet...in the end...it was bothering ME that she was running around talking about how religious she is, but then doesn't think anything about sleeping with another woman's husband.

The question in my mind. I'm not the devout religion one. She is. I'm upset because she is breaking commandments and cheating on her husband. So....What's up with that?

Day 24: Twas The Night Before LEON Day...

2010-06-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

I don't remember where I first heard about LEON day, but I think it was on the radio. If you've never heard of it - well, it marks the half-way point to Christmas, which is June 25th! It is NOEL spelled backwards!

One of these years I will actually have my act together and I think I will have a party. Maybe put up a small tree, sing Christmas carols and listen to Christmas music. Who cares if it's 95 degrees outside! In my world, we will be thinking mistletoe and candy canes!

If I really, really had it together - it might even be a good time to send out LEON cards! I seem to get overwhelmed around the holidays and never do get all of them sent. And....if I really, really, really had it together...I would be out Christmas shopping the way my sister-in-law is probably doing (not because its LEON week, but because she is one of "those" people....).

But I'm not...so for this year - tomorrow will just be another date on the calendar. An observation, perhaps, of how fast this year is going and how before you know it - it really will be time to start decorating and singing those Christmas carols...

Ho-Ho-Ho....Santa is on his way....

Day 23: It's Like Watching Grass Grow

2010-06-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

I looked back on this blog to see what I was writing about in June of last year. Apparently, a year ago today - I changed my Twitter profile to point at this blog.

"Wow!", you say. "How exciting!"

So now you see how I got the title of this post. Figuring out what this blog is suppose to be about is like grass growing. If you sit there and watch - it will take a very LONG time!

I started the 30-day blog challenge as a way to figure out what exactly I was doing here. Well, we're on day 23 and I still don't have a clue. It appears this blog is going to be dedicated to my ramblings about my day-to-day life and in between - you will get my reviews of products and television shows. Meanwhile, my writing blog The Freelance Misfit will concentrate more on the writing gigs.

To borrow a phrase a friend of mine used (and she got it from an episode of Seinfield) - this blog is probably going to be about nothing. But...in my case...the nothings...just happens to be about my life!

Day 22: There's a strange humming noise...

2010-06-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

coming from outside today.

Actually, it is the noise of heavy equipment. I'm not even sure where they are located, but I suspect the county or DOT is working on the road.

I have music and the air conditioning on, but I still hear it. It is rather distracting, but trying not to concentrate on it or let it bother me.

Okay, it's not working....

Day 21: The Gates - A Review

2010-06-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, I confess - I am hooked on The Vampire Diaries, and I loved Eastwick.

When I started seeing commercials for The Gates - I had some pretty high hopes.

After the first episode, however, I still have hopes, but I've lowered the bar a few notches. The premise is pretty simple, there's a new sheriff in town (well, chief of police...) named, Nick Monahan (Frank Grillo) and he and his family have moved into a gated community filled with vampires and apparently some werewolves, or shape-shifters.

We also have a vampire couple named Claire (Rhona Mitra) and her husband Dylan. Unfortunately, just as the new chief takes office, Claire has just had an afternoon snack that consisted of draining the blood from a building contractor that almost ran over her daughter.

Meanwhile, a lot of other teenage characters are thrown at us. The Chief's son, Charlie (Travis Caldwell), runs into trouble by falling for Andie (Skylar Samuels), who just happens to be the star quarterback's girlfriend. Oh, and did I mention that Brett (Colton Haynes), the quarterback, is also a werewolf?

And...this is where the shows weakness is. The Gates doesn't seem to know whether it is a Desperate Housewives wannabe, or a Twilight wannabe. Where the premise of bouncing back and forth between the adults and the teenagers may work on 90210 - with this show - it just makes it too busy.

Actually, the entire show is too busy. By the time the first hour is over with, we have a Chief of Police that seems to have some secrets from his past in Chicago, a football team that seems to be made up of werewolves, two shop owners that appear to be vampires and in some kind of feud, the vampire couple, the wife of the chief - that seems to have some problem of her own, and the budding love story of Charlie and Andie. Oh, and did I mention - another dead body that turns out to be the former chief of police?

The worst part of this whole thing though - this show COULD work. SyFy's Eureka has a huge quirky cast and it's not a problem, but The Gates threw out every cliche it could think at us last night (and missed a bunch of vampire and werewolf cliches that we were expecting - for instance - why is Claire running around in the daylight?) You can change the supernatural rules on us sometimes, but this episode just didn't carry that concept of new rules off at all.

If someone handed me a red pen and said "fix this show" - here is what I would do....

Concentrate on the adults and shrink down the teens to more minor roles. This isn't the CW network - The Gates comes on at 10 P.M. on a Sunday. The teens are not watching this show - bored adults who are taping Army Wives or Leverage on another channel are the target for this one.
Make the shop owners two feuding witches. We could then find out the chief's wife has some kind of background where she could be one too. Since there are "rules" at The Gate, the witches couldn't run around fixing everything, but a little spell here and there could make it more interesting.
Either make the drama more heavy - or lighten it where we actually "get" to experience the Desperate Housewives feel. Right now there seems to be a little bit of "we don't know what we want to be" cloud hanging over the show and that's sad because there is a great idea here.

Day 20: Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post today wishing all fathers a very happy Father's Day.

Day 19: A tale of rescue and dashed hopes

2010-06-19T15:46:00.000-07:00

The other day I saw a fawn come up to the porch and disappear under the deck. I was fumbling for my iPhone to try and take a picture, so I didn't get a real good look at it and never did get the picture.

Last night I came home from the grocery store and the fawn was under the deck again. This time, however, I could see it. It had been attacked by a dog or coyote. Flies and maggots were all over its tail section and there was a lot of fleshy skin.

Although the wildlife sites warn against helping wild animals - we have had enough experience with livestock to catch the poor thing and try to help it. Once caught, we cleaned the wounds and cleared away as many maggots as we could.

The plan was to keep it in our shed until this morning and then take it to a wildlife rehabilitator that lives in a county that is close to us. Unfortunately, this morning when we checked on our visitor - it had passed.

We have second-guessed ourselves several times today. Maybe we should have left it alone, maybe we should have cleaned the wounds and returned it to his mother (who made several appearances that evening), but as calm as it was about us working on it - I have a feeling that no choice we made last night would have been a good one. I think the fawn was too weak from its injuries to have survived - no matter what we did.

This is not the first time we have had animals end up on our doorstep. I sometimes joke that we have a hobo sign near our driveway that alerts misfit animals needing help, food, or shelter that they can find it here. The fawn is just one of several animals that have come in and out of our lives. We've had a cockatiel, a male and female peacock, a dog named Max, a black dog that didn't want to leave, and various turtles, turkeys and deer.

Most of these animals have stories with happy endings, a few do not, but regardless our lives have always been better for the short time that they were in it.

Day 18: Store Brand versus The Good Stuff - Challenge 2

2010-06-18T08:19:00.001-07:00

Hunt's Tomato Sauce versus Publix Tomato Sauce

(8 oz. - No Salt)

First things first...You're about to become privy to my secret spaghetti sauce recipe. Guard it with your life! ;-)

McCormack's Thick and Zesty Spaghetti Sauce Mix (one pack)

Tomato Sauce - No Salt (two 8 oz. cans)

1/4 Cup Water

1 lb Ground Beef

Spaghetti Noodles

I made this for dinner last night, so I don't have the sodium amounts for the sauce mix, but let me tell you - it's HIGH!

I learned this a while back when I was making it a point to read my nutritional labels. I knew prepared packages almost always have high sodium amounts, but it initially caught me off guard when I realized cans of vegetable have sodium in them too. Once I learned this, I now try to buy "no salt" whenever I can. Then if I think it does need some salt - I can add my own.

Unfortunately, Hunt's doesn't make a "no salt" large can of tomato sauce. Or if they do - my store does not carry it. They do, however, have small cans of tomato sauce that are no salt.

One day I noticed Publix had the same small cans. No salt in them either. I also discovered Publix has their version of spaghetti mix in the little pack (but we will save that review for another time), so decided to try it.

To be honest, I can't tell any difference between Hunt's and the Publix brand. They are both suppose to be tomatoes made into sauce, right? It would be kind of scary, I think, if there was very much difference. The only thing I have noticed (and it may be my imagination???) - I think (???) that the store brand is a little more watery, but its been so long since I've used the Hunt's brand...I may just imagine that it's that way.

So...on the Hunt's Tomato Sauce (no salt) versus Publix Store Brand (no salt). It's a tie and we'll give both of these a big Thumbs UP for taste!

Day 17: Let it snow...let it snow...let it snow...

2010-06-17T14:33:00.001-07:00

Ask me what my favorite season is and I'll tell you it is Fall, followed by Winter. I'm okay with Spring until the pollen starts, but Summer - nope afraid it doesn't even make the list.

Okay, technically it is NOT summer YET, but...after enduring a hours with no air conditioning yesterday and part of today ---- I am more than aware that it is just around the corner and I am already dreading it.

Face it, I don't do well with the heat. My pale Irish skin burns instead of tans and when I step outdoors into the Georgia heat - I literally feel like I am melting.

Thankfully, the air conditioning in the house is working again. Now if I could just figure out a way to stay inside until fall...I'd be all set....

Day 16: Air conditioner broke

2010-06-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

Staying in other part of the house where we still have air. But...I didn't want to not post - so consider this a mini-blog! :-O

Day 15: By the hair of my chinny chin chin...

2010-06-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, technically it is about a minute after midnight - so I kind of missed a day, but I haven't been to bed yet --- so since this IS my blog - my rules... and this will be my day 15 entry for the 30-day blog.

Today has been one of those days where as it finally rolls to an end - I literally feel the stress weighing down my shoulders. I have a headache - I am exhausted, but I can tell already I am not going to sleep well and I did a lot today, and yet accomplished very little.

Anyway, I can at least cross this off my list.

Until "tomorrow" (or later today - whichever you prefer).

Day 14: If It's Monday I Must Be Stressed

2010-06-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

Happy Flag Day! We would normally have our flag hanging off of the front porch today, but one of our holly bushes has been grabbing a hold of it the last few times it hung out there and this year the holly bush is so big it just might eat the flag for lunch. Need to add "Move flag bracket and/or prune holly bush" to the to-do list, I guess.

It's another Monday and as usual my stress level started rising about an hour after I got up. I have about a 100 household things to do today AND four articles due. I am the proverbial chicken with its head cut off, running in a dozen different directions and not getting a thing done.
On days like this I feel like I am a hamster stuck on a wheel - running, running, running, but never actually getting anywhere.

Chickens and hamsters - seem to be hung up on metaphors today...

Anyway, I hope that you're having a a calmer Monday than I am, and don't forget to take a moment to think about this great country (warts and all) that we live in. Here's a link if you want to know a little more about Flag day and what it really means:
http://www.usflag.org/history/flagday.html

Day 13: Looking for a Playlist Replacement

2010-06-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

This past Memorial day my computer picked up a nasty virus after I went to a website playlist. I was later told that the virus was probably in the banner and not actually ON the site, but ever since then I have been afraid to go back.

I loved playlist though. You can pick your music and create a playlist and then embed it into you blog - send it to Facebook, or simply listen to your song selection. Actually, if you have your speaks up - you are listening to a playlist selection now!

Anyway, today I discovered another site called mixpod.com. I haven't signed up yet and just started to check it out, but it looks like it might be a safe alternative to playlist. AND --- apparently it has videos too. Will investigate more when I have a chance and let you know how it goes!

Day 12: The Old Family Homestead - Accepting The Change

2010-06-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

For many years I didn't like the house that I grew up in. It wasn't the house itself, I guess, but rather where it was located. We lived out in a rural area on about six acres of land. There were only a couple of kids that lived close by and that was only during the school year. As soon as school was out, they were off to stay at their Grandmother's house or going somewhere on vacation. My parents, meanwhile, never did anything during the summer and I was stuck at home.

When I got older and started Junior High, living there became a bigger burden. Our telephone line was long distance to almost everyone else and no one wanted to call me because it would cost money. More lonely summers ensued and I really hated the area and the fact that I was stuck in it.

Life went on and I got married. Ironically, we ended up in a house about two miles from the one my parents lived in. I still hated the area though. Driving to work meant you had an extra 10 miles of commute time - no matter what direction you took off in. Grocery shopping, dining, doctor's appointments - nothing was close by. Every car or truck we got racked up miles going back and forth. I was so very, very happy when we finally got a place closer to town. It was a special thrill knowing we could now order a pizza and someone would actually deliver it to our door!

Last year, though, my parents bought a new house and moved closer to town. The upkeep of the house and the land had become a burden and they both wanted something easier to maintain. They were able to buy the new house while still owning the old, so they have been fixing the old one up and getting it ready to sell.

The problem is, now that they are finally ready to put the house on the market, I am discovering I am the one that is not ready to let the place go. I got comfortable with them being in the old house. The holidays we have celebrated so far in the new one - felt awkward and strange. I've had to learn where things are being kept (dishes, Ziploc bags, paper towels) when I'm over there and the entire process feels surreal to me.

Anyway, today we are going over to get some of my stuff out of the upstairs rooms. For now, it is going to their new house and being stored in the basement, but I've been told I have to make some choices about the stuff - this is NOT a permanent solution since they have plans for the basement.

I really am happy they have a new house that they are both enjoying, but accepting the change is still not coming easy for me. I have even had thoughts of trying to buy their old house - as unrealistic as that would be, but for now - this change it is just something I'm going to have to get use to.

Day 11: Store Brand Versus The Good Stuff

2010-06-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

First of all...I still have the stupid headache. It lets up and then comes back. Three days of this now. Started Wednesday night and I've still got it. It makes working on the computer a lot of fun, but so far it isn't bad enough where its bothering my eyes (like it does sometimes).

Meanwhile...If you haven't figured it out - I still have no clue where this blog is headed. Figuring out where all of this is going is actually the reason I signed up for the 30-day blog challenge.

Today, I decided I would try what someone suggested last week and use different days to write about different things. Not sure how that will work for the rest of the days, but I thought I would try it at least one day a week - so until I decide otherwise - Friday's will now be known as "Store Brand Versus The Good Stuff" day.

I have decided to review one store brand product a week and let you know how it stacks up to the name brand (Good Stuff!) products that we are often tempted to spend money on because we perceive the name means its better.

To save money, I've actually been using some store brand products for the last few months, so at least it won't be a stretch to do the research.

This week - let's talk peanut butter! It's a staple item in our house, so I was a little skeptical about trying the store brands. I'm a creamy peanut butter fan - can't stand spreading peanut butter with a knife and having it hit all those crunchy nuts - so in the last few months I bought creamy peanut butter from Kroger, Food Lion and Publix.

The first thing I noticed when I brought home the second jar (I think the first one was Publix and the second one was Food Lion) was that all the jars look the same. Same size, same height, same red top, same jar design. To be honest, the three generics taste so similar I have wondered if they aren't all coming from the same peanut butter plant. Not sure how all that store product manufacturing works, but I do believe the same company is at least making all those jars!

Anyway, I actually have to confess that I like the store brand peanut butters I have tried. The calorie counts are similar to the Good Stuff, the consistency is about the same and taste wise (the REAL test) --- not too bad. It seems that the store brands all taste a little sweeter and less peanuty (if that is possible for peanut butter?) than the Good Stuff, but after a few days - my taste buds adjusted and I automatically reach for the store brand peanut butter no matter what store I'm shopping in.

So.....Store Brand Peanut Butter... a big thumbs up! Give it a try next time and let me know what you think!